Did Brad Miller release the ball in time?

Nope.

Damn shame, though. Here's a video of the whole shaboodle.

Thoughts on the rest of the frankly epic Bulls/Nuggets game here. The Bulls lost the game, but dammit, you're noticing us right now.

I'm A Sailor Peg, And I've Lost My Leg

I feel obligated to write something about the Bulls/Celtics series. It has been untold drama, brilliant excitement, and well worth the fortnight of 7am finishes. It's been better than Megan Fox's shadow, worse than De Niro's moustache in Cop Land, and awesome to a fault. And I feel inclined to write something that describes it all.

But the truth is, I don't want to. I don't think I can. The series has been so unilaterally brilliant, so unrivalled in its drama and so and flawlessly flawed in its execution, that I'm not capable of writing the words to accurately describe it. I don't think anyone is. It's as though someone decided the Coach Carter series of films should rival Police Academy, wrote seven of the most implausibly cheesy scripts ever written, and nailed them all on the first take in front of an audience of millions. The drama, for lack of a better word, is perfect.

Disregard game three for a minute. (The Bulls forgot to turn up to that one, so it's best we pretend that it didn't happen.) Over the other 5 games, the other 275 minutes, and the 1000 or so possessions, the difference between the two team's aggregate score is 1 freaking point. There have been 7 overtimes in 4 games, and one game that was decided in the final second of regulation. Never before has there even been more than 2 overtime games in a series. And yet we're at 4 already, with one still to play.

It is almost unfathomable how close these two teams are. It will never happen again. It doesn't matter now about the peculiar series of events that made it this way; what we have now, quite possibly, are the two most evenly matched teams in the sport's history. All the planets have aligned, and this is the basketball equinox.

How many plays have there been that, if only minutely different, would have meant the series was over by now? I mean, seriously, how many things only had to go ever so slightly differently for the result to be different? What if Rajon Rondo was called for the goaltend of Kirk Hinrich's layup? What if Eddie House knew where the three point line was? What if Ray Allen hadn't tiptoed it, twice? What if Ben Gordon didn't kick the cooler and get a technical? What if Joakim Noah didn't gamble for that steal? What if he missed it? Does Brian Scalabrine then get his Horry on? What if they called Paul Pierce dragging his pivot foot 6 yards in the first OT? What if this didn't happen;



What if John Salmons doesn't take that airball three at the end of regulation? What if the moving screen on Glen Davis that set up the House two was properly called? What if Hinrich hadn't MISSED THAT FREAKING LAYUP?!?!?? What if Brad Miller had thrown a shot up at the end of OT? What if Pierce hadn't turned down passing to an open Allen? If Joakim Noah misses that gambled steal, does Scalabrine put the Celtics up 126-123? What if Pierce hadn't fouled him?

And those are just from the last 16 minutes of game 5. What about the other 287 in the series?


Everything that has happened in this series has happened in reverse, too. Brad Miller has choked in the clutch and won a game down the stretch. Ben Gordon has almost won games single handedly, and done his best to lose them too. Derrick Rose shows that he's ready for both the big time and bedtime. Kirk Hinrich, one of the worst clutch performer of the decade (a man who shot 14% in the clutch last season) has turned up for the big stage. Ray Allen has been brilliant or non existent. Paul Pierce can gut out a win, but only sometimes. Everyone has been brilliant for stretches and terrible in others, coming (Tyrus Thomas even went a game without sucking. That's rare.) The only consistencies have been bad officiating, worse coaching, John Salmons's relentlessly gormless "my beard is so heavy it's pulling my bottom jaw to the ground" face, and Kevin Garnett's unabashed twatness. Just those and all the overtimes.

And then on top of that, we've had all the bonus drama. Rajon Rondo's carnal desire to hurt someone. Kirk Hinrich's eternal swag. Ray Allen being really, really, really, really good. Joakim Noah showing the world what Bulls fans knew since January. The long overdue debut of Aaron Gray's playoff beard. Doug Collins's fluctuating opinions on how tall Ben Gordon is. Tony Allen's death threat. Kevin Garnett's injury. Ben Gordon's injury. Leon Powe's terrible luck early in the series. The huge plays down the stretch. The terrific individual execution. The knee bucklingly bad coaching. Brad Miller's permanent "tickle me again and I'll throw a paddy right here and now" scowl when things go badly. Vinny Del Negro's palms being welded into his armpits. Stephon Marbury losing games through being afraid to shoot. Brian Scalabrine getting key minutes while sporting a head like an upside-down carrot cake. Danny Ainge's heart attack.

It's brilliant. I just only wish the stage was bigger.



At the end of game 6, I called my friend, finding myself with a desperate need to explain to someone what I'd been watching. They probably didn't appreciate the call at 7.45am on a weekday, but they got it anyway. I tried to explain what I'd been watching, why I was so excited, where this series placed in the all time history of the sport, how there'd been so many if-onlys and impossible shots that even Matthew McConaughey would have turned down the script. She didn't quite understand, or even really try to. But she meant well when she said;

"Congratulations."

Thanks. Go Bulls.

Summer signings, round 11

- Darius Rice has left the immortally named Purefoods Tender Juicy Giants from the Phillipines, and is about to sign with Montegranaro in Italy. I think that translates as "Bread Mountain". I hope it does, anyway.

- A previous blog post talked about how Ivan Radenovic had had his contract with Akasvayu Girona extended. That news is now bunkum, for Girona have gone bankrupt, and are not playing this upcoming season. This leaves Radenovic now unsigned, unattacthed, undervalued and undernourish. (I still want you to buy Scouting For Girls CD's, by the way. I will keep pushing this until you do it. Buy buy buy.)

- The "points per shot" fans amongst us - basically me and me only - were extremely moist to hear that the Philadelphia 76ers have signed shooting guard Kareem Rush to form an incisive and efficient off-guard partnership with the incumbent Willie Green. These two players have a role to play for the Sixers, in that they are the only two guards currently under contract who can actually hit a three point shot. This is a positive. But the negative side-effect is that both of these players are really, really bad. The pair are both deemed "one dimensional scorers", but neither is any good at scoring. Willie Green last season scored 921 points on 870 shots, for a spectacularly bad 1.06 points per shot, a number that still somehow managed to raise his career average to a heady 1.02. Rush is even worse, scoring 588 points on 569 shots last year for a 1.03 PPS average, against a catastrophic career average of 1.01. Yeesh.

For the sake of a point of reference, free agent Sixers backup point guard Kevin Ollie has a career points per shot average of a modest 1.21. That from a man who has 9 made career three pointers. Technically, if you need someone to hit a shot, you are better served going to Kevin Ollie than Kareem Rush or Willie Green. While that statement lacks important context....it's something to think about. Supposed "scorers" suck at scoring, and it's not difficult to see this.

- In one of the more bizarre moves of the offseason so far, the Detroit Pistons signed Kwame Brown for $8 million over 2 years. How the HELL does Kwame Brown still keep getting these huge salaries? Have people not noticed that he's really bad, and has gotten worse for 4 years?

(Hey, do you remember when Kwame Brown was an athletic power forward with a decent face-up offensive game, reasonable touch, a shot, and the ability to catch? Yeah, me too. I want that Kwame back. Not this slow old centre who doesn't need to try or care anymore as people keep paying him anyway.)

- Former Net prospect Mile Ilic has signed for two years with Cajasol Sevilla in Spain. He replaces English legend, Andy Betts. I am not happy about this.

- The L.A. Clippers have used the last of their cap space on Ricky Davis. In terms of value, it's not a bad signing. The same could be said of their acquisition of Marcus Camby and Baron Davis. But what the Clippers have now is a nice veteran team, that isn't going anywhere. They might make the playoffs, but what then? What's going to put them over the top? Not sure. But, still. It'll be nice to have at least that, I guess.

(Bonus points to Art Vandelay for making the Joke I Wish I'd Thought Of: "I guess Baron Davis was just an addition to help Ricky score." If you don't know what that references, you suck.)

The Clippers are also reportedly talking to Shaun Livingston and Paul Davis, both of whom they have already renounced, but both of which would be decent pickups for the minimum. All told, they've had a reasonable if mismanaged offseason.

- Pistons draft pick Trent Plaisted has signed with Angellico Biella in Italy. You know that joke that I always make about Angellico Biella? Well, I'm not going to make it this time. No way. Nope. Non. Nein.

- The Raptors signed Will Solomon on the basis that they needed a third point guard, and they hadn't signed anyone from a European league for about three weeks. (I'm sorry, but if they want the stereotype to stop, they know what to do.) The fact that Solomon isn't really a point guard is something we'll overlook for the moment.

- Consistent NBA oversight Zendon Hamilton is still fighting the good fight, switching Russian teams from Enisey Krasnoyarsk to Spartak Primorie Vladivostok. Hamilton averaged 19ppg and 8.4 rpg last season on a really bad team, which is something that I just wanted you to know.

- Finally tonight, a rumour. The Bulls are apparently talking to the Kings about a trade that would involve Brad Miller, Cedric Simmons, Andres Nocioni and a lottery protected first round pick. The link comes from this blog, which you will never have heard of before, because it hasn't existed for very long. Normally, this is the kind of thing we should disregard off-handedly, but the guy who runs the blog has a proven reputation, and has been breaking Bulls news for a number of years now. Just not in the form of that blog. (He has a family connection within the Bulls front office, or something. Can't remember exactly.)

Will it come to fruition? I don't know. I hope so. But if it does, remember that you heard it here first. And if it doesn't, remember that you heard it there and there only, and all I did was steer you towards it, thus this is in no way my fault.

Send Antoine Walker to the All-Star Game

As Wordsworth once observed, "the child is the father of the man". I am now a man, but was once a child. However, while I am now a man, I am still a child inside. So maybe that sneaky bastard was onto something when he said this.

As a childish man, I play childish games. I have childish dreams, and childish tendencies. And one thing I've always wanted to childishly do is send a scrub to the All Star game.

I'd like to now make this a reality. In the NBA's overzealous attempts for parity, they tend to include some crap players on the ballot to give fans of all teams someone to vote for.

They've toned it down a bit from how it used to be, when the ballots were bigger. But still, some mediocre (or bad) players creep up onto the ballot every year. And we should capitalise on this.

Here's the players on it:

http://www.nba.com/news/ballot_071113.html

You can also submit write-in votes for players not on it.

The online voting doesn't exist yet, but when it does, each person is allowed to vote multiple times for whoever they want. This easily abusable system got Yao Ming voted in as a starter in 2002 when he didn't even nearly deserve it, because the whole of China voted for him.

It's the right time for that system to be abused again.

Antoine Walker would be best for this, because he is the worst player on the ballot by a mile. Currently nailed to Minnesota's bench, and never any good anyway, Walker is a stand out name on there. He's also fat, funny, and would believe in his own heart that he was there on merit, not as the result of a joke. He's also listed as a guard, which improves the probability of Tony Parker not making the team, And that's another positive side effect.

If we were to choose a real scrub like Thomas Gardner or somebody, we'd all have to submit write-in votes, and most people are too lazy for that. If it involves merely clicking, then we can make it happen. That's why a name that is on the ballot has to be chosen.

So what we need to do, when online voting comes around, is to vote for Walker many millions of times so that he is voted in as a starter. And I mean maaaaaaany times. As often as you can. Tell your friends, get them to do it.

This NEEDS TO HAPPEN.



If you want to go balls out and vote repeatedly for the Ridnour/Walker/Szczerbiak/Scola/Brad Miller Western lineup, please do.