Where Are They Now, 2010; Part 1

The Where Are They Now series of posts started out by accident, yet they've become the most enjoyable part of the website. They seem to be fun for you to read, and they're definitely fun for me to write, so now that Christmas time has passed and new seasons have begun around the world, we begin a list anew.

The list covers all the players in the site's player database that aren't currently in the NBA. This is the best part of 1,000 people, ranging from retired players you've heard of, to unsigned draft picks you've never heard of, to free agents on the cusp of the big dance, to players who one day will be in the NBA, to players who absolutely could play in the NBA but who are doing well enough elsewhere, to players who one day will be in the NBA,all the way down to random players I like who never have been in the NBA and that never will be. It'll be long and fun at times, long and dull at other times, and sometimes just plain long. I'll try to find as many different ways to say the phrase "on the season he is averaging" as can be, but if I repeat myself, chalk it up as an occupational hazard.

In theory, there's going to be one of these a day until about April. The list will be in alphabetical order, ish. So let's begin.


- Tariq Abdul-Wahad

Abdul-Wahad was covered last month in the 1993 Draft Round-up. For those too lazy to click that link and scroll down, I shall reproduce it here.

Tariq played in only 67 games this entire decade. He played 29 games in 2000-01, 24 games in 2001-02 and 14 games in 2002-03. His last NBA game was April 14th 2003, and he never played outside of the NBA. He had a tryout with Climamio Bologna in the 2006 preseason, but he did not make the team, and that was it. Nevertheless, he got paid huge amounts of money during that time in exchange for services not rendered, and he's been investing it into the entertainment industry. Abdul-Wahad owns a French TV channel called 3A Telesud, is a partner in whatever this is, and is a partner in this clothing company.

The only change since that was written has been Tariq's decision to delete me from his Facebook friends list. Fair enough. I can handle that. In this Twitter-laden age, Facebook doesn't have the tantalising same athlete-connectibilitivity that it used to have, a connectibilitivity which, it has to be said, is pretty cool. With the onset of public Twitter accounts and Facebook fan pages, being a player's Facebook friend doesn't really offer anything any more (even if it does lead to hilarious sentences such as "Uros Slokar is now friends with Corey Benjamin"). It's also been pretty magnanimous for those athletes to allow the fans to snoop on their personal lives in such a way; rest assured that when I'm really really really ridiculously famous, I won't be doing this. So thank you, Tariq, and God speed.



- Shareef Abdur-Rahim

Like Abdul-Wahad, Abdur-Rahim was recently covered in the 1996 draft thing. To discover whether or not he is currently working as an assistant coach for the Sacramento Kings, read it. CLUE: Yes.

In the pipeline is a piece called "A History Of Failed Physicals," one which I'm currently researching to see if it has the legs I think it might. Shareef will play a pivotal role in its success.



- A.J. Abrams

After going undrafted, Texas muli-record holder A.J. Abrams is playing in Greece, where, due to their funky alphabet, he is known as A.J. Eimnpamz. For Trikalla in the Greek A1 League, Eimnpamz averages 17.3 points, 1.6 rebounds and 1.0 assists in 35 minutes per game. It doesn't look as though he has any aspirations to expand the distributing aspect of his game, although nor does it look like his size is holding him back from scoring too much on the continent.

Trikalla are 12th out of 14 teams in the A1, armed with only a 2-6 record, and it's not been a good season. Their three imports are Abrams, Kasib Powell and former Pittsburgh forward Tyrell Biggs, but it's not really helped the team, and Biggs in particular has been very bad. Trikalla recently brought in Mark Dickel (me neither), which might have spelled the end for Biggs, and which gives Abrams one more player not to pass to.



- Mohamed Abukar

Abukar was in the D-League last season with both the Austin Toros and the Idaho Stampede, and after the D-League season ended he went to Switzerland to sign with the Lugano Tigers. While there, he averaged 19.1 points and 5.9 rebounds in the final seven games of the year, and has stayed there this season, averaging 16.2 points (second on the team) and 6.4 rebounds per game (third).

Swiss basketball is pretty poor, which is why we don't often talk about players being there. To give you a yardstick on that, the current leading scorer in Switzerland is a small guard named Kenny Thomas (not THAT Kenny Thomas), who averages 21 points per game for Lausanne. But last year, Thomas was playing for Radford, a Big South Conference team that made it to the first round of the NCAA tournament, only to lose to North Carolina by 43 points. Thomas averaged 14ppg last year on 41% shooting for Radford; he's doing better in Switzerland than he was in the Big South.

Also, the Lugano Tigers employ a ten man rotation that features only one real Swiss player. Four players have Swiss passports, but, as their names might suggest (Derek Stockalper, Dusan Mladjan, Slavisa Pantic), three of them are naturalised. Even the real Swiss homegrown, Luka Vertel, has mixed Croatian heritage. The Tigers roster is made up of five Americans (Abukar; Stockalper, who plays for the Swiss national team on the side; former North Carolina bench player Byron Sanders; former Pacers summer leaguer Scott Vandermeer; D-League veteran Mike Efevberha), one Brazilian (Gustavo Lo Leggio), one Croatian-Slovenian (Martin Mihajlovic), Vertel (part Croatian), Pantic (naturalised Bosnian) and Mladjan (naturalised Serbian, although he's been in Switzerland for the best part of a decade). And that list does not include former Michigan State guard Travis Walton, who went home last week. Switzerland isn't turning out a great amount of homegrown international basketball talent, and the Lugano Tigers definitely aren't.

But, although it was via Italy, Switzerland DID produce Thabo Sefolosha. So i's not all bad.



- Alex Acker

Acker started last season with the Pistons, got traded to the Clippers in a trade that I totally predicted (self aggrandising!), went to summer league with the Knicks, and then left the NBA. He signed with A.J. Milano in Italy, and appeared in the league's first 8 Italian league games (averaging 10.0 points and 4.3 rebounds) and their first four Euroleague games (8.8 and 2.8). However, he hasn't played since November 12th due to injury. I don't know what the injury is exactly, but a quick Google translate reveals that it's a "torn muscle." Don't know which.



- Hassan Adams

Adams has not played anywhere this season. Not sure why. Last year, the Raptors signed him to a fully guaranteed $711,517 salary incredibly early in the offseason, watched Hassan turn up out of shame, and had to dump the contract on the Clippers (in the same way as Acker above), who then waived him. Adams then signed in Serbia for Vojvodina, but appeared in only two games before being waived in early March. He has not played anywhere since. I'm assuming he's injured.



- Kenny Adeleke

Adeleke started the season with Napoli in Italy's Serie A, but played only three games, totalling 30 points and 27 rebounds. Unlike Tariq, Kenny hasn't deleted me from his Facebook, but that hasn't really helped me any since he never uses it. So what was designed to be a useful mechanism for garnering Kenny Adeleke information has not really worked out.



- Jeff Adrien

Adrien is in Spain, averaging 12.8 points and 7.7 rebounds for Leche Rio Breogan Lugo. Those are good numbers, but they come from the second division, the LEB Gold. And even though the Spanish league is the strongest league in the world outside of the NBA, the second division isn't particularly great. (It's better than Switzerland, though.) Adrien has also managed to total only 5 assists in 15 games, which is quite hard to do.



- Maurice Ager

Ager is also in Spain, in the ACB (first division) with Cajasol Sevilla. Unfortunately, his statline there this season is unnervingly similar to his NBA statlines of the last three seasons; that is to say, he's struggling mightily. In 8 games, Ager is averaging 2.4 points, 1.3 rebounds and 0.3 assists, shooting 22% from the field, 20% from three point range and 67% from the line. He has gone scoreless 4 times in those 8 outings, has fouled in 7 of the 8 games, and has played in only about half of the team's games. Cajasol are having a decent season, ranked 6th overall in the ACB with an 8-6 record, but they're doing so with a 7 man rotation. They could use Ager's help, particularly now that Domen Lorbek has left. But they're not getting it. It also won't help that Cajasol just made a big move in acquiring Ivan Radenovic, who, despite not playing Ager's position, gobbles up some of his available minutes.



- Blake Ahearn

Blake Ahearn was in Spain as well until this week, when he was released by Estudiantes Madrid. In the last two years in the D-League, Ahearn has boasted true shooting percentages of .670% (in 2007-08) and .629% (in 2008-09), which is absolutely freaking ridiculously good from a 6'2 guard. This year with Estudiantes was not really any different; Ahearn shot 41% from three point range (36-87), and a typically Blake Ahearn-like 98% from the foul line (57-58), on his way to averaging 14.2 points per game. However, he only shot 29% from two point range (10-34), and he also averaged only 0.8 assists a game to go with that. As shooting specialists go, you can't be much more effective than that, but a specialist is as much as he was.

EDIT - Estudiantes signed Chris Lofton today, another specialist shooter.



- Ayodeji Akindele

In keeping with the theme in this post, Akindele WAS in Spain, and is not any more. Akindele signed with Xacobeo BluSens Obradoiro in the ACB in the summer, but he never played for the team after failing his physical due to a meniscus injury. He has not signed elsewhere since. Xacobeo replaced him with Mike Higgins, who is 43 years old in two months time, yet who is apparently more able to play that Deji is right now. Tough break, but he'll be fine.

Speaking of Mike Higgins; he played in the NBA once, you know. That was 19 years ago now, in the 1990-91 season with the Sacramento Kings. This season he's totalled 10 points, 19 rebounds, 17 fouls, 1 assists and 0 blocks. It's been an epic career, but it's winding down now.

Summer league round-up: New York Knicks

View the Knicks summer league roster.

- Wink Adams: Adams just graduated from UNLV, where his senior season numbers were down across the board. He averaged 14.3 points, 4.1 rebounds and 2.8 assists, shooting only 37% from the field. FYI, 6'0 guards that shoot 37% don't make it in the NBA.

- Alex Acker: Acker started last year with the Pistons, who salary dumped him onto the Clippers. He scored 63 points on 65 shots in the NBA last year, which isn't good. He also spent 4 games on assignment to the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, averaging 18.0 points and 5.3 rebounds, but the Clippers declined his team option and didn't make him a restricted free agent. That's not a glowing endorsement.

- Blake Ahearn: Ahearn was covered here. If he can show some rudimentary point guard skills suited to the Knicks' high octane offense, then he has a chance. But the Knicks are damn short of roster spots. They have 16 under contract already, and that's before a single free agency move. This presents a problem for Ahearn.

- Morris Almond: Utah are so tax concerned right now that they had to decline Almond's third year option, even though it was very cheap and he didn't really do anything wrong. Almond doesn't have an all-around game - he's pretty much only a scorer. But even though he barely played in the NBA, and didn't do much in his time in it, he was drafted to be a scorer, and score he did. He averaged 25.6 points per game in the D-League in 2007/08, and last year averaged 22.4 points in 29.8 minutes. Of course, Almond didn't pass at all to score that many, averaging a special 1.1 assists per game. But he scored a lot, and he scored it efficiently. It's only Matt Harpring's dead weight salary keeping him out right now.

- Warren Carter: Former Illinois forward Carter played his first professional season in Turkey, then split last year between Spain and Latvia. Carter averaged 11.8 points and a slightly poor 5.0 rebounds in the Spanish ACB for Cajasol Sevilla, and then moved to the joyfully named BC Ventspils, where he led the Latvian league in rebounds (9.1 rpg) and second in blocks (1.4 bpg), to go along with 13.0 points. Carter played on the Mavericks summer league team in 2007, but didn't make the big league roster. He's not making this one, either.

- Joe Crawford: Crawford was drafted by the Lakers at the very end of the 2008 draft, and was a late season pickup by the Knicks, signed through 2010 (but for no longer, as is the Knicks way). He played in two games for the Knicks last season, and totalled 9 points and 4 rebounds. Before that, he was in the D-League, where he averaged 20.8 points and 4.6 rebounds for the L.A. D-Fenders. The retired Cuttino Mobley is probably going to be taking up Crawford's roster spot, and the drafting of Douglas also spells bad times for him. But he should be in training camp at least.

- Toney Douglas: Douglas is a very good scorer, who pretty much only scores. He averaged 21.5 points, 3.9 rebounds and 2.9 assists in his senior season for Florida State, an out-and-out scorer despite his height. However, since he's with the Knicks, he could probably handle playing at point guard, such is the nature of their offense. Leandro Barbosa managed it for a time, after all.

- Patrick Ewing Jr: Last year, Sacramento drafted Ewing 42nd overall. He was then traded twice before his rookie season even began; once to the Rockets as a par of the Ron Artest deal, and then salary dumped to the Knicks in exchange for the completely arbitrary rights to Frederic Weis. This got everyone horny, given the good times that his father brought to the team, and the idea that Ewing would thrive in a higher paced offense made people want to touch themselves. But no one took enough note of the fact that Ewing sucked. He was a sixth man in college, and averaged only 6.1 points and 4.2 rebounds as a senior (and that includes sitting out a season to transfer). Then in summer league for the Kings, Ewing played in three games - all starts - and totalled 45 minutes, 2 points, 7 rebounds and 12 fouls. That's really quite awful, and the Knicks cut him in the end, shattering the dreams of dozens. The only time Ewing has ever played well in significant minutes was last year in the D-League, when he averaged 16.8 points, 8.9 rebounds and 3.1 assists in the D-League for the Reno Bighorns (giggidy). But even then, he was a sixth man. And he's 25 now. The rawness excuses run out eventually.

- Jordan Hill: The third best big man in the draft, apparently. Hill averaged 18.3 rebounds and 11.0 rebounds last year for Arizona, but was made to look pretty average when the NCAA tournament rolled around. Knicks fans dislike Hill already purely because he's not Stephen Curry; whether an imitation of Chris Wilcox by Hill this summer league would win them over or not remains to be seen.

- Ron Howard: Howard was a Buck once, although only for about two weeks. He transferred from Marquette after his freshman season and went on to put up three decent but unspectacular seasons at Valparaiso. He then travelled to Holland and Mexico, before spending the last two years in the D-League (with his short Bucks stint in between the two). Last year, in 48 games and 1,711 minutes for the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, Howard managed to boast the frankly impressive statistic of 0 made three pointers for the entire year, in 10 tries. This is pretty hard to do as a team's 6'5 high-scoring two guard with an 18.7 points per game scoring average. It should give you some idea of how he plays.

- Yaroslav Korolev: Korolev was a complete and total washout in the NBA, drafted by the Clippers way too high for a man with no history of ever playing well and with no obvious standout skills to project. The fact that Danny Granger was taken after him doesn't help anybody. The Clippers waived him for good in 2007 training camp, and Korolev buggered off back to his native Russia. Last year, for Dynamo Moscow, Korolev averaged 1.5 points and 1.0 rebounds in 10 Russian Superleague games. He is now 22, and is no further along than when he was 17. He still can't play. But, good luck with this.

- David Noel: Noel also did little in the NBA, playing only one and a half years for the Bucks before being waived. He spent last year in the D-League, putting up huge numbers; he started with the Albquerque Thunderbirds, averaging 17.8 points, 5.9 rebounds, 4.4 assists and 2.3 steals in 30 games, before moving to the Reno Bighorns (etc) and averaging 19.1 points, 5.8 rebounds and 6.7 assists in 18 games. When the D-League season ended, Noel moved to the Philippines for a summer job, averaging 20.5 points, 12.9 rebounds and 5.4 assists for the Barangay Ginebra Kings, a team with a name not nearly as awesome as it should be for a Philippines team. His team plays in the potential title winning game tonight. And that's why he's not playing for the Knicks. Also, Noel has already agreed to sign with Roanne in the French ProA league next season. So you can cross him off your list.

- Mouhamed Sene: Like Crawford, Sene was a late season pickup that signed through 2010 for the hell of it. Like Crawford, he was waived by an NBA team earlier in the year, this time by the Thunder. Like Crawford, he's probably going to training camp. But, like Crawford, the Knicks' draft night moves (in this instance, Darko Milicic) probably just took his roster spot.

- Rashaad Singleton: In his junior season with Georgia, Singleton (whose first name is really Donald, and who looks like a picture of Nate Dogg stretched out weirdly with the contrast turned up) averaged 2.7 points, 3.3 rebounds and 1.7 blocks. Apparently 136 minutes of playing time wasn't enough for him, as Singleton transferred to Florida Southern down in Division 2, a team that boast the great nickname of "The Moccasins." It didn't really change much, though, because the 7'0 Singleton (whose weight I've seen listed between 220lbs and 280lbs) played in 35 games but started only 10 times, averaging 15.1 minutes per game. His averages overall were 6.1 points, 4.4 rebounds, 3.3 blocks and 0.5 assists. Furthermore, he shot 24-92 from the free throw line, a sizzling 26%. That's pretty brilliant. Less brilliant are Singleton's NBA chances.

- Nikoloz Tskitishvili: Skeeter also busted spectacularly in the NBA, out of it before he was ever in it. The Knicks actually had him under contract back in October 2010, but he didn't make the regular season roster. Last year he was in Spain, playing for Fuenlebrada, averaging 8.3 points and 4.1 rebounds acting as a spot-up shooting for the team. While the averages aren't good, he shot 44% from three point range, which is very good. Tskitishvili had a tryout (or two) with the Grizzlies recently, before this Knicks gig came to pass. I admire their entrepeneurial spirit.

Summer league round-up: New Jersey Nets/Philadelphia 76ers

This one feels a bit weird, because I'm writing about how players are expected to perform in a competition that's already finished. Hmmmm. Oh well, for the sake of uniformity, we'll do it anyway. Not to self - plan in advance next year.

To save money, and to add purpose, the Nets and Sixers agreed to share a summer league team this year. It's not a practice I'm keen on, because I think the more spots given out to random nobodies, the better, and by having only one team that makes 12 less spots for random nobodies. So that's a shame. But at least they bothered at all, unlike some teams.

View the joint Nets/Sixers summer league roster.

- A.J. Abrams: Abrams's college career consisted of three things - decent defense for his size, running around endlessly trying to get open, and then shooting jumpshots. And a really bloody college career it was, too. However, Abrams is only 5'11. There are plenty of 6'6 guys who spend their entire careers trying to get NBA teams to notice that they specialise in exactly the same things, and (Kyle Korver excepted) they usually fail. So how likely is Abrams to do the same with his half-a-foot height disadvantage? He isn't, really. He's small even for a point guard, but the fact that he's an exclusive two guard counts heavily against him. Heavily. Abrams' only chance to become an NBA player is to develop a semblance of ball handling ability, and rework himself into a crude Jannero Pargo imitation. But Pargo isn't exactly a regular rotation player in the NBA himself, so A.J's chances are very slim.

- Jeff Adrien: Adrien was covered in the Grizzlies round-up. It's pretty industrious of him to have wriggled his way into the summer league rosters of three teams, which really maximises his options. It was also a damn good idea to get onto the Grizzlies and Nets rosters, the two teams with the worst power forward rotations in the league last year. That'll help his limited chances a bit. And, despite Adrien's limitations and damaged prospects as outlined in the other round-up, can he really be much worse than Yi Jianlian? Good luck to him.

- Blake Ahearn: Ahearn has had two shots in the NBA - once with the biblically crap Miami Heat 2007-08 team, and a small stint in the early part of last season with the San Antonio Spurs. He's played a combined 15 games and shot 27%, which is probably not brilliant. But it's also not an accurate depiction of Daniel [his real first name] is like as a shooter; he's a great one, really. This is evidenced in his D-League numbers of last year, when he scored 22.7 points and 5.0 assists per game for the Dakota Wizards, shooting 45% from the field, 42% from three point range and a typically Blake Ahearn-y 96% from the foul line. (For those unaware, Ahearn shot 95% from the foul line for his NCAA career.) Ahearn's problem is not with his scoring, but with his position; like so many others before him, he's not really a point guard, yet he measures at only 6'2 and 190. He's trying to make himself into a point guard, and is getting there slowly, as shown by those assist numbers. Unfortunately, those numbers were record in a hefty 39 minutes per game in an assist-heavy league, and also came along with 3.3 turnovers a game. (As an unrelated aside to the assists thing, Ahearn also only averaged 2.4 rebounds per game in that time, which isn't getting it done.) Playing alongside former NBA point guard Maurice Baker factors into those numbers, but Baker is far from a pure point guard himself. His great shooting stroke will keep him on the fringes of the NBA for a while, but his existential quandary will keep him out of the realms of guaranteed contracts. Probably.

- Dionte Christmas: I've not seen Christmas, and admit as much. (I had a Temple game from last year saved somewhere, but I think I accidentally recorded over it. Probably with some soft core pornography.) Everyone tells me, though, that Christmas would have been a fine undrafted signing. So here's what the numbers say; Christmas averaged 19.5 points, 5.8 rebounds and 2.9 assists, shooting a mediocre 41% from the field and attempting 9 three pointers a game, which he hit at only 35%. Those numbers don't wow me. If you're going to be a specialist shooter, shoot higher than 35%. SO we'll see. (Or rather, "we have already seen;" Christmas scored 9.3 points per game on 44% shooting in 4 summer league games.)

- Chris Douglas-Roberts: Douglas-Roberts is in danger of getting overrated. Fans of pretty much all other teams seem to want to acquire him as an under-the-radar pickup for their shooting guard spot. They rave about his instant scoring punch, and his ability to create on his own. And it's all true. But lost in that is Douglas-Roberts' scoring inefficiency; he doesn't shoot three pointers, and while he gets to the foul line at a decent rate, he has to in order to be a decently efficient scorer. He shot 54% in both his college seasons, which is terrific, and he shot 46% in his rookie season which is also very good. However, his eFG is is 47%, which isn't too good, and his 53% true shooting percentage is solid, but not brilliant in a largely one dimensional scorer. Chris and Douglas are both decent defensive players, but they don't rebound and can't create for others. They enter the game looking to score, and if they don't have a good shooting night, they don't really provide much. They should form a decent shooting guard foursome with Courtney and Lee next season, yet they (Chris and Douglas, not Courtney and Lee) are not really starting calibre. Desire them accordingly.

- Jason Ellis: Ellis is a 26 year old former Boise State graduate who is a veteran of the US minor leagues. (He also spent two years in Switzerland. Hard to come back from there.) Last year in the D-League, Ellis averaged 7.1 points and 8.7 rebounds in 24 minutes per game for the Idaho Stampede, and while I'm usually wary of players who have more rebounds than points scored, Ellis surprises me bys hooting 47% from the field and 81% from the foul line. Not bad, that. However, the market on undersized power forwards is pretty saturated, and even in spite of his rebounding rate, Ellis' 6'7 200lb frame isn't getting it done in the NBA. Chuck Hayes may be an inspiration to many, but he's also an exception to the rule.

- Gary Forbes: Forbes did the rounds last year. Undrafted, he joined up with the Wizards for summer league, and was drafted in the 4th round of the D-League draft by the Sioux Falls Skyforce. He didn't make the Wizards roster, and turned down the league in favour of Italy, signing with Basket Napoli in Serie A. Unfortunately, Napoli went bankrupt before the season begun (you'd think they might have seen that coming, no?), and Forbes had to return to America where he joined up with the Skyforce. He averaged 16.3 points and 4.8 rebounds in 28 minutes per game, before being traded to the Tulsa 66ers, averaging 18.0 points, 5.7 rebounds and 4.0 assists in 31 minutes of 30 games for them. After the D-League season finished, Forbes went to the Philippines, averaging 27.5 points and 5.0 rebounds in two games for the joyfully named Talk 'N' Text Texters of Tropang (the Philippines league has amazingly corporate team names), and then went to Venezuela to play with Trotamundos for a month. He's building himself an NBa resumé. Pay attention.

- Jrue Holiday: Finally got around to watching that UCLA game that I've been putting off. Got to say that my opinions of Darren Collison are higher than those of Holiday, who looked.....awkward. Not really a point guard, too small for a two guard, not a great shooter, average athlete....hmmm. Not sure of the tremendous upside potential, to be honest. Good defense, though (or so it appeared; it was hard to tell considering he was guarding an undersized chucker (Patrick Christopher) all night long). He didn't even play the point guard spot when Collison was out. So whatever it is that makes Holiday a #17 pick, I'm still waiting to see.

(Note: formulating opinions based on one game that you've watched is a dangerous proposition that isn't really advised. So always leave yourself a get-out.)

- Chris Johnson: Last year for LSU, Johnson averaged 7.7 points, 7.2 rebounds and 2.7 blocks per game. He shot only 45% from the field, but the blocked shot and rebounding numbers are nice, and especially since they came in only 25 minutes per game. If he was a junior, we'd be saying how, with about 40 pounds more muscle and an improved post-up game, he'd be a future first round talent. But he's not. So now, he's an undrafted 190 lb positionless big man who turns 24 next week.

- Rob Kurz: Kurz was mentioned in the Minnesota Timberwolves summer league roster round-up thing. He hasn't gotten any better since then. But, if you like to see enthused if largely unskilled play featuring some retro one handed jumpshots, then Kurz might be your man. Or Ryan Bowen.

- Marreese Speights: If any team doesn't need Marreese Speights, it's the team with Elton Brand on it. I'd love Marreese Speights on my team; even though he never passes and puts forth scant little defensive effort, Speights is an explosive and athletic finisher, who has soothing and sensual touch inside the paint (giggidy) and from mid range. He can't be bothered to rebound, despite having all the athletic requirements for the job, and that's a pity. But off the bench, he can be a highly valuable scoring big man. And Lord knows my team could use one of them. So, Philadelphia; if you want Kirk Hinrich, then find a deal that starts with Speights, and somehow work it into a three way deal that gets us a defensive minded big two guard. Then he's yours. But Willie Green is not getting it done, and neither is Samuel Dalembert. So don't even go there.

- Terrence Williams: How is Williams going to score in the NBA? He's not much of a shooter, he's never really had to play without the ball in his hands, he tends to get wild, his 43% FG last season was the highest of his four year career, and the highest FT% he ever shot was the 61% in his freshman year. That's as a forward. His passing vision and skills are nice, but he's not going to be a primary ballhandler in the NBA, and that nullifies them slightly. No, his best chance in the NBA will be as a defensive specialist and a disruptive influence, using his athleticism and energy to piss off the opposition all night and force some turnovers. It's something he could be very good at, too. And if he ever gets the complimentary jumpshot that still evades him, then he'll be reet.

But do you really take someone like that eleventh overall?

Where Are They Now, 2009; Part 1

It's nearly the new year, so that makes it time to do something that's nearly interesting. The "Where Are They Now?" series of posts - which last year landed me at least two job offers - are hereby making a spectacular return right here, in exactly the place that I said they wouldn't be. Good times.

As ever, these posts will feature players on this website's horizon, but not in the NBA. Anyone not listed is either not interesting enough, or has less than the 0.00001% chance of rejoining the NBA than Ruben Boumtje Boumtje currenltly enjoys.

Bring the noise.

---

- In an anti-climactic opening entry, former Mavericks et cetera swingman Tariq Abdul-Wahad is doing exactly the same thing that he was last time we checked in on him - nothing at all. Wikipedia suggests that he isn't dead, thogh, so that's got to be a positive. No news is good news, after all. (Also note - Wikipedia also says that Tariq Abdul Wahad has a Facebook account, the location of which you can find for yourself. After the semi-on that I once got from having Uros Slokar accept my Facebook friends request, I have made it my duty to become the Facebook friends of all fringe NBA players that I can find, so that I may boast about this to an imaginary room full of disinterested onlookers such as yourselves. Here's looking at you, Viktor Sanikidze.)

- Shareef Abdur-Rahim is now a Sacramento Kings assistant coach. And he still don't like it. (Other piss poor Rock The Casbah puns available upon request.) His wife has also done something about the flu, while simultaneously rocking the greatest name this side of Cornelius McFadgon.

- San Diego State legend Mohammed Abukar's career has taken a turn for the better, as he was unsigned until about 24 hours ago, when he was picked up by the Austin Toros of the D-League. Quietly, the San Antonio Spurs have managed to stash basically every one of their training camp signings on their D-League affiliate (which they own), as well as their former draft pick Marcus E. Williams. Owning your own affiliate seems to have some merit when the allocation players are handed out.

- Kenny Adeleke was playing with Bulgarian powerhouse Lukoil Akademik up until last week, when Lukoil decided to release he, Nenad Canak and Kevin Kruger, their three best players. This is because they got knocked out of the Eurocup (which is what the ULEB Cup is called now; it's the second tier of European basketball after the Euroleague) and wanted to save money. This is particularly unfair for Adderleak, who led the competition in rebounding, averaging 13 a game. From this, we can conclude that Kenny Adeleke is a good rebounder. I also just found out that he was left handed, which shows how much I know about Kenny Adeleke.

- Blake Ahearn is back in the D-League with the Dakota Wizards, and not signed by an NBA team. It's still a bloody disgrace. Ahearn is averaging 24.5 points and 7.5 assists in four games with the Wizards, including a game winner, although we won't talk about his turnover numbers.

- Deji Akindele is playing for Scavolini Pesaro in Italy. He is averaging 11.1 points, 7.1 rebounds and 2.2 blocks per game. I still don't know if his name is actually Ayodeji or Jeleel, but on that subject, here's an interesting piece of trivia - Cinderella's real name was Ella. You can see what they did there.

- Akin Akingbala was signed a couple of weeks ago by Nancy of the French league, as a replacement for the little used Rod Benson, of whom they had clearly had too much. Akin Akingbala also remains the most perfectly named basketball player in the world, apart from the largely unheralded Tommy Brilliantdunker.

- Cenk Akyol's rights are still owned by the Atlanta Hawks, but they probably don't want them much any more. Akyol can't get off of the bench of Turkish team Efes Pilsen behind the starting guard pairing of Milos Vujanic and Charles "Spider" Smith. Akyol averages 4.3 points and 1.5 assists in the few minutes that he does get, perhaps still baffled by the positional identity crises that affects all 6'5 European point guards. (See also: Renaldas Seibutis, who we'll come to in like five years.)

- Finally, the whereabouts of some players whose names are easier to spell (albeit just as good for your Scrabble score). Guards Cory and Courtney Alexander are both still out of basketball and haven't played since their last NBA stints. For Cory Alexander, this was with the Charlotte Bobcats back in their inaugural season of 2005, and for Courtney Alexander, this was his short stint in the Denver Nuggets training camp back in 2006. I am perfectly willing to believe that both have abandoned the dream of professional basketball by now.

Speaking of giving up, this post ends here.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of Quinton Ross?

There follows a list of the remaining unsigned NBA free agents, and what they're currently rumoured to be doing about their jobless selves. Most of these players suck, because we're over a month into free agency now. Yet this list may still serve as a useful resource if you're sifting through the remaining chunks of free agency vomit, looking for gold dust and/or your brand new watch, relentlessly apologising for ruining the whole party and vowing never to mix Bourbon and Gaymers again. Maybe.

NOTE - decent free agents from other leagues not listed partly because this is an NBA website, and partly because I can't be bothered.


Point guards:

- Kevin Ollie: Recently annointed a role model for reasons other than just the moustache, that video is possibly the only thing on the internet that suggests that some teams want to sign Ollie. By the way, did you know that that's how he spoke? I didn't. I thought it'd be deeper than that. Ho hum.

- Shaun Livingston: Still not cleared to play basketball. In spite of this, the Clippers have talked to him about re-signing anyway, and Miami and Phoenix both also showed an interest. And why wouldn't they? Take a look down this list at how bad the rest of this free agency point guards list is. If you needed a point guard, wouldn't you rather have the guy whose knee doesn't work, than, say, Smush Parker?

- Sam Cassell: Said he intends to play one more year before becoming an assistant coach. "Expects" to stay with the Celtics, who don't seem to be reciprocating quite as much. Cassell either was or wasn't a judge at a pole dancing competition, depending on whether you believe the Boston Globe or Sam himself.

- Jannero Pargo: Apparently on the cusp of signing with the San Antonio Spurs, which seems like an odd decision. Firstly, they don't have much money to give him, which is the reason why Jannero has opted out of contracts two years in a row. Secondly, the reason that they don't have any money is because they spent it on Roger Mason Jr, and why the HELL would you want to pair Jannero Pargo and Roger Mason Jr? Not sure I get that. Even if you start Mason - an idea fraught with danger - and persevere with bringing Manu Ginobili off of the bench, you still get a load of duplication from those two. So what's the point?

- Darrell Armstrong: His agent says that Armstrong has turned down "multiple" coaching opportunities in favour of one more go-around as a player. (If that makes sense.) Orlando were mildly interested. The Nets....less so.

- Dan Dickau: Is considering signing with one of several European teams. He has to - the money's good, and the NBA offers are sparse. More importantly, Dan Dickau is also to host a celebrity poker tournament, sweetened by the deal-breaking offer of a gift bag. So get famous and sign up.

- Damon Stoudamire: The only team with the slightest reported interest is Phoenix. It doesn't seem surprising that no one's looking at Damon, given how badly he did with the Spurs last year, and also because of the giant salad fork sticking out of his back.

- Jason Williams: My great idea for him to re-sign with Sacramento doesn't seem to be working out, given that they brought back a different old boy instead in Bobby Jackson. Williams has had offers from at least one European team, but he doesn't sound too keen on the idea. Shaq wants him in Phoenix, which doesn't really mean anything.

- Andre Owens: No idea. Nothing.

- Chris Quinn (restricted): Hot shit, apparently. The Timberwolves, Clippers, Hawks, Warriors and Wizards have apparently all expressed an interest, and the Heat still have a qualifying offer out there. Life is good for Chris Quinn, even if he is technically unemployed.

- Lindsey Hunter: Hasn't yet decided it he wants to play one more season. If he does, it'll be with Detroit.

- Blake Ahearn: Says that Minnesota "really likes" him after his performances for their summer league team, but hasn't signed anything yet.




Shooting guards:

- Ben Gordon (restricted): Wants a payday like the one Luol Deng just got, in spite of the fact that he has absolutely no free agency suitors other than the Bulls, and also that he isn't as good as Deng. The Bulls want him back - or at least say that they do - and talks are ongoing. But, in the words of fabled philosopher Tim Baland, it's gone get ugly, if it hasn't done so already. (Note: original lyrics may differ.)

- J.R. Smith (restricted): Denver have said that they will match any offer, but Cleveland are apparently about to test that resolve with a full mid level exception offer. Jesus, people. It's J.R. Smith.

- Michael Finley: His agent Henry Thomas says that Finley has turned down some fairly lucrative European offers in favour of a final turn in the NBA. His agent also claims that several "championship calibre teams" want Finley, which means there's no chance of a return to Dallas. (Ho ho ho, see what I did there?)

- Delonte West (restricted): Cleveland are half-arsedly negotiating with him, while also trying far harder to sign J.R. Smith, and simultaneously bringing in Tarence Kinsey as an insurance policy. That can't make West feel good. Boston were supposedly interested in taking him back, and a well paid European offer is on the table, as it is for basically everybody. In fact, it might make more sense for me to merely say who ISN'T being offered big money from Europe.

- Devin Brown: He's not going back to Cleveland. Dallas, New Orleans, Denver and Atlanta are his suitors.

- Gordan Giricek: Wants to return to Phoenix, the team with whom he enjoyed a decent cameo to end last season, but the Suns won't offer more than the minimum, which Giricek won't take. There's a lucractive European offer on the table - OBVIOUSLY - and also some NBA offers from teams that no one wants to name. They must be embarassed at themselves or osmething.

- Ronald Murray: Cleveland "enquired", and that's all we've got. Is it me, or are the Indiana press totally disinterested in reporting the potential destinations of their free agent guards? We know they're not going back to Indiana, but play the game, at least.

- Kirk Snyder: Minnesota didn't offer him a QO, then acquired Rodney Carney to take his place, and no other teams seem to have showed interest? Why is that? He's not THAT bad.

- Quinton Ross: Renounced by the Clippers, ignored by everyone else. WHY, God? WHY? Kareem Rush gets signed early, yet Quinton Ross can't even find a suitor. Rigoddamndiculous.

- Fred Jones: In keeping with our recent little string of "not all that bad shooting guards getting unfairly overlooked", Fred Jones is unsigned and unloved. Come on now. These players aren't great, or even starters. But they're decent players, being dealt the disservice of being stuck at the NBA deepest position. I demand that they be signed.

- Juan Dixon: Gilbert Arenas wants him back in Washington. That's about it.

- Salim Stoudamire: I want to sign him. I'm the only one, though.

- Derek Anderson: Nothing.

- Von Wafer: Played summer league with the Knicks, but won't make their roster.

- Shannon Brown: Couldn't (or wouldn't) even get a summer league spot. He's gone.

- Casey Jacobsen: Memphis waived Tarence Kinsey for this guy, don't you know? Jacobsen isn't going back to Memphis, and has no NBA interest to fall back on.

- Yakhouba Diawara: For seemingly no reason, Denver is considering re-signing Diawara, despite just replacing him with the superior Dahntay Jones. Well, good for them.

- Eric Piatkowski: In recent weeks, Piatkowski has lit the torch at the 24th Cornhusker State Games (whatever they are), and gotten caught up in some dodgy business. However, there's no news of another NBA contract, despite how much Pike wants it. Nonetheless, in that first link, we are treated to the finest Eric Piatkowski quote of all time:

I refuse to not be successful in everything I do.

Apart from double negative usage classes, you never will not be.

- Mario West: Stayed with Atlanta for summer league, but, without a qualifying offer, it doesn't look too likely that he's going back. No one else has said much.

- Ronald Dupree: Went to Oklahoma City's summer league team wearing Seattle Supersonics coloured shoes, albeit probably not on purpose. Unlikely to return, but the man remains confident.

- DerMarr Johnson: Being arrested for DUI didn't do much to strengthen his position as a fringe NBA player.



Small forwards:

- Andre Iguodala (restricted): Negotiations with the Sixers are still in "limbo", but...come on. He's going back there. Where the hell else is he going? The man will fight for the biggest payday, but we all know that he'll get one eventually. Let's not pretend otherwise. Feel free to berate me mercliessly for writing all this bobbins once Iguodala takes the one year qualifying offer and signs with Portland next summer.

- Bonzi Wells: Surprisingly overlooked. New Orleans would rather bring back Ryan Bowen than Bonzi, which is the worst insult that you can give a man. The 6 year contract from Sacramento that Bonzi turned down two years ago is getting ever more hurtful.

- Devean George: Has "several" suitors, but the Clippers are no longer among them, and Dallas apparently aren't either.

- Dorell Wright (restricted): The Heat are "open" to a sign and trade, but to who? No one seems to have expressed an interest.

- Jeremy Richardson (restricted): You can pretty much pencil him in for the Hawks training camp.

- Louis Amundson: A month ago, it seemed a matter of time before Amundson signed a contract with the Golden State Warriors. But then it didn't happen. And now I don't know what's happening.

- Demetris Nichols (restricted): With no suitors and a qualifying offer out there, he'll almost certainly be going to the Bulls training camp, to battle for a spot with players cheaper than he.

- Awvee "Booooo!" Storey: Had his team option declined by Milwaukee, but played on their summer league team anyway. Didn't play very well. No one else wants him.

- Michael Gelabale: No one seems interested, which is probably due to his bad knee injury more than anything.

- Ryan Bowen: See above. A league in which Ryan Bowem has more suitors than Quinton Ross is a very fucked-up league indeed.

- Ira Newble: Nothing to report.

- Marcus Williams: Renounced by the Clippers, not courted by others.

- Linton Johnson: It would make sense to return to Phoenix for the minimum, but that's just me theorising, and not a breaking news report.

- Kasib Powell (restricted): Played well for the Heat in summer league, and looks destined to at least go to their training camp, if not make the regular season roster.



Power forwards:

- Josh Smith (restricted): Still unsigned, as well you know. But it's hard to imagine Atlanta buggering this one up.

- Carl Landry (restricted): The Rockets are idiots if they don't re-sign him. Given that they're clearing out some salary by dumping Steve Novak, it looks as though they intend to.

- Austin Croshere: Theories abound of a Golden State return, but nothing is certain.

- Paul Davis: The Clippers renounced him, but were talking about re-signing him anyway, until news of the impending Steve Novak trade. So that probably rules Davis out.

- James Augustine: Waived by Orlando. If anyone can explain to me how a man that wasn't under contract was able to be waived, let me know.

- Othella Harrington: The knees don't work any more, so don't expect a return.

- Juwan Howard: Things are looking bleak.

- Andre Brown: Nada.

- Shavlik Randolph: Randolph didn't look too bad in his rookie season but has barely taken the court since. No suitors, as you'd expect.

- Sean Marks: Can you believe that Sean Marks has been in the league for 8 years now? 8 years??? How many games has he played in that time? Can't be more than about 14, surely. Things don't look good for a ninth year, but Phoenix seem to love veteran offensive players on minimum salary contracts, so a third year there is still plausible.

- Pat Garrity: His agent said that he (Pat, not the agent) will probably retire if he doesn't re-sign with Orlando. So he's basically destined to retire.

- Robert Horry: The Spurs don't seem to want to play any more, which leaves Horry dangerously short of options, unless the Celtics need someone to mentor Brian Scalabrine.

- Nick Fazekas: The Clippers eventually retracted his qualifying offer - with his consent - which makes Fazekas a free man. Or, if you look at it another way, a homeless man.



Centres:

- Jake Voskuhl: Doesn't even register. NBA people barely acknjowledge his existence. There is always a rush in September to sign tall "defensive" veteran centres, so Voskuhl may get work then, but any dreams of a contract similar to last year's $3 million one from the Milwaukee Bucks have gone by now. They should never have existed in the first place, really.

- Jamaal Magloire: See Voskuhl, but change it to $4 million. Maybe people are starting to recognise that he hasn't been good for about 4 years.

- P.J. Brown: I have no evidence to back this up, but given that he just won the title, wouldn't this be a good moment to call it quits?

- Dikembe Mutombo: His agent says that he won't play for the minimum, which doesn't bode well for his chances of a return to the cost cutting Rockets. That's OK - they'll still have the best defensive team in the NBA even without him.

- Francisco Elson: Was rumoured to be talking to Denver about a possible return, but the Nuggets signed Chris Andersen instead because he was cheaper. Negotiating with the Clippers.

- Robert Swift (restricted): Oklahoma City seem keen to keep him, as evidenced by the qualifying offer that they gave him, despite how little he has played in two years. Other teams seem more perturbed by Swift's incessant knee problems, perhaps rightly so. Personally, I hope it all works out great for him.

- Michael Doleac: His agent offered Doleac's services to Orlando, but do they really need another sub-par backup big man? Does anyone, in fact?

- Chris Richard (restricted): Kevin McHale makes it sound as though Richard's definitely returning. The cheap price and the lack of suitors seem to confirm this.

- Theo Ratliff: I swear I read somewhere during midseason that he intended to retire after this season, but I can't find it now, so forget that I said anything.

- David Harrison: The Pacers have ruled out re-signing him, leaving Harrison with roughly zero options.

- Earl Barron: The Heat are out of room, and Barron's not 18 years old any more. No suitors.

- Alonzo Mourning: Said "one more season" for about the fifth time, but hasn't signed yet.

- Scot Pollard: Unsigned, and not courted, which probably has something to do with the reconstructive surgery on both ankles. And also the fact that it's Scot Pollard.

- Dwayne Jones: Not expected back with Cleveland, which leaves him shit out of luck. Shame.

- Michael Ruffin: No news is normally good news, unless you're Michael Ruffin and yot're awaiting news from your agent of possible contract offers from NBA teams.

- Didier Ilunga-Mbenga: Might be invited to the Lakers training camp, or he might not. It's going to be inconsequential either way.

- Lorenzen Wright: Considering how bad he was during his two years in Atlanta - when he had 186 points, 253 rebounds and 230 fouls - I'm going to go out on a limb and say that no one will sign him. I've got a crow ready and waiting, but I think he's safe.



It's hard to think that all of that crap was in the NBA last year. Bad times.