Robert Whaley arrested for carrying drugs in his arse
The cheerful looking sausage in this picture is former Utah Jazz and Toronto Raptors big man, Robert Whaley. You may remember him, or you may not. But if you do, it's probably because either:
a) you're a Cincinnati Bearcats fan who remembers Whaley for the one year of fail he brought your team in 2003-04 before being forced to transfer due to off-the-court issues,
b) you're a Raptors fan who remembers Whaley's inclusion as a throw-in in the trade that ended the Rafael Araujo Experience, or
c) you're a Jazz fan who remembers Whaley as being the fat one that was arrested alongside Deron Williams back in 2005, in an incident that saw them humiliate and besmirch themselves by giving false names to the police.
Either way, your memories of Robert Whaley probably aren't great.
A recurrent theme in that list, other than fail, is Whaley's trend of getting involved in off-the-court issues. Largely unbeknownst to me until today, Whaley has been making a habit of that over the last few years. In the early hours of this morning, per the Salt Lake Tribune, Whaley was a passenger in a car when he was arrested by "gang detectives", whatever they are, and found to have marijuana in his buttocks. Upon being processed, it also turned out that Whaley was a wanted fugitive in the state of Michigan after being convicted of running a drug house back in 2008. The obligatory mugshot follows.
2008 also marked the last time Whaley played professional basketball. And his career, dating back to the end of his high school years, was not exactly dignified. After almost winning Mr Basketball in the state of Michigan in 2001, Whaley spent two years at Barton County community college, averaging 16.9 points and 7.7 rebounds per game, before moving to Cincinnati for his junior season. (By the way, "Mr Basketball" is the lamest expression ever.) Once at Cincinnati, Whaley had more field goal attempts than points scored, and grabbed only 4.3 rebounds per 40 minutes, before being kicked off the team and forced to transfer.
Whaley moved to Walsh University, a team in the NAIA (and, not coincidentally, then-Cininnati head coach Bob Huggins's alma mater), and things finally improved a bit. Considering how far he'd moved down the basketball ladder, they kind of had to. Whaley averaged 19.9 points, 7.5 rebounds and 2.2 blocks per game, was named the NAIA Division 2 player of the year, and led Walsh to their first and only NAIA National Championship. That, plus the magical word "potential", was enough to get Whaley drafted that summer 51st overall. No matter that he was a terrible rebounder, wouldn't play defense, was out of shape, had rarely played to a standard worth a damn and hadn't played well when he did, was highly inconsistent, had a terrible attitude, big turnover problems and multiple off-court issues; he was a scoring big man who moved OK. And that's what the NBA needs most.
Whaley's first season in the NBA was also his last. It started ominously well when Whaley earned himself a two game suspension for throwing a punch at Adam Parada (then on the Lakers' training camp roster) in a preseason game. And then when he started playing, it got no better. In 23 games, Whaley averaged 2.3 points, 1.9 rebounds, 0.6 turnovers and 1.8 fouls per game, shooting 40% from the field and 50% from the line. For per-36 minute fans, that's 8.3 points, 7.3 rebounds, 7.0 fouls and 2.6 turnovers. Whaley then missed the majority of the season after knee surgery, and then topped off his season with the incident with Williams. Robert and Deron were both with a class C violation for lying to police after an early morning altercation at a club. A Denver Nuggets fan with the slightly awesome name of Affan Arslanagic (sounds more like a suppository) started having a go at Williams and Jazz team mate Robert Whaley in a club, eventually throwing a bottle at them. All three got thrown out of the place, but the fight continued in the street. When police arrived, Whaley said that his name was "Bobby Williams", and Williams said his name was "Torrey Ellis". I don't know why they did this.
At some point in the altercation, Whaley also cut his hand. He then lied about this to the Jazz, claiming that his infant son accidentally cut it with a knife. His cunning ruse was soon rumbled, however, and he was fined and suspended for two games by the team.
After the season ended, the Jazz traded Whaley as filler in the Kris Humphries/Rafael Araujo swap before draft night 2006. The Raptors two weeks later before draft night. Whaley has never sniffed the NBA again. He played on the Jazz's summer league team at the Rocky Mountain Revue in 2006 - even after they had traded him away a mere month before - and then split the 2006-07 season between the Dominican Republic, the ABA and Iran. In 2007/08 Whaley went to the D-League, but in 21 games with the Los Angeles D-Fenders he averaged only 4.2 points, 2.9 rebounds and 2.8 fouls in 12.9 minutes per game. This was the last professional basketball gig of his career; as outlined at the top of the post, it appears he found a new source of income elsewhere.
Whaley's criminal history also includes two felony counts of aggravated battery after partaking in some kind of brawl in 2003, to which he was sentenced to a year's probation. And that history is perhaps highlighted - if that's the right word - by a rape trial in 2001 involving a 13 year old girl. Whaley was eventually acquitted in that case after a mistrial was declared, but that's what first crippled his stock and necessitated the two years at community college.
You're getting the idea by now, though. Robert Whaley = fail. In fact, in a mini Twitter homage, we may now have to call him Failwhale.
Speaking of Twitter, Robert Whaley appears to have an account there, and he didn't even use an alias to do it. On it is what appears to the harrowing story of his son being knocked down and killed by a car this summer, as well as some slightly clingy messages to current Jazz players. Whaley has not used the account for a while, and he's probably not going to do so soon either.
Nevertheless, if I can find Robert Whaley just by searching Twitter, why couldn't Michigan State police?
Kirk Snyder ordered back to jail after cutting off his electronic ankle bracelet
Yesterday, I tweeted that Kirk Snyder - who had been rumoured as a possible returnee to the Chinese Basketball Association this season - had been denied entry to the league, as officials saw him as undesirable what with his whole burglary/vicious assault/incarceration/suicide watch/forcefeeding medication story thing. It surprised me that there was even a possibility of Snyder's return. The last I heard, he had been released from the mental ward and found competent to stand trial, but no news that he had been released from jail.
However, today, we found out that he HAD been released from jail, but only while wearing an electronic tagging device. And we know this because he was just sent back to jail for cutting it off.
The question of you would do that is an obvious and entirely valid one, yet considering that we're talking about a man who had to be force fed, savagely beat a man to a pulp in full view of his wife, and who was recently deemed by the courts to be mentally incompetent, then nothing can be a surprise any more. The hope that Kirk Snyder had merely had a mini-drug-induced-freakout - which would be incredibly little solace, but which was a better thing to hope for that this - is now completely dead. Kirk Snyder would appear to be oh so very irrational right now, and it's not fun to think about.
So, because it's more fun to do, let's instead remember Kirk Snyder the basketball player. Here he is with a much underrated dunk over Von Wafer (here pictured as a Laker; no one seems to remember that he used to be a Laker, but it happened.)
They were good times. Simpler times. Happy times. But they ain't coming back.
Shannon Brown being beaten up by a man in white socks
Today, the L.A. Lakers announced that they have agreed to terms with unrestricted free agent guard Shannon Brown, who will re-sign once the moratorium is over. Lakers fans can now pretend that they have found their point guard of the future, ignoring for a minute his entirely underwhelming jumpshot, wild flails to the rim or inability to bring the ball up court. For those people, this is good news.
You may have already known that, though, since no one comes to this website for breaking news. But what you may not have known is something that I only just rediscovered.
Back in his Cleveland days, Brown got into a bit of a rum-do at a nightclub. (Or a Tête à Tête, if you'd rather. Or a kerfuffle. Or a shindig. Or a broo-haha. Or a shaboodle. Or some other juvenile word for "incident.") Brown was inside a club called Liquid when he was kicked out for wearing his baseball cap, a brazen and hellacious violation of the club's dress code, even though he was initially allowed to wear it in. Somehow, that escalated into him being subdued outside by the club's bouncers, kneed in the goods and hit in the face. And that's where the camera picks up the action.
Brown was not arrested. The bouncers threatened him with a taser - insert "don't tase me bro" joke - and Brown sued the club almost a year later. I don't know if he won. This whole story is old news, but I forgot about it, and you might have done too. Besides, some people may have missed it before. And they need to know, I think.
If an NBA player manages to get into some kind of trouble that gets Youtubed for the sake of comedy, then we're there to talk about. See also: Rafer Alston and Keith Closs.
ShamSports.com: Hypocritically perusing the problems of others.
A judge sentenced Denver Nuggets guard J.R. Smith to 90 days in jail Tuesday night for causing an auto accident that killed his friend, though Smith will likely end up serving only 30.
Municipal Judge Debra J. Gelson suspended 60 days of the sentence providing Smith performs 500 hours of community service consisting of visiting sick children at hospitals.
As a Bulls fan, I can safely say that J.R. Smith is someone I've discussed a lot over the years. J.R. was included by the Hornets, somewhat needlessly, into the Tyson Chandler/P.J. Brown swap that pissed me off for a good few years. And from speaking to my fellow Bulls fans, I know that a lot of you miss J.R. Smith. He has crazy range, athleticism, potential (if not much sense) and a special shot making ability. It would be easier to stomach his loss had the best returning player for him not been Aaron Gray. (The players were; JamesOn Curry, who never played a game for the Bulls; the unguaranteed contract of Howard Eisley, who also never played for the Bulls; and Aaron Gray, who needn't have.)
Scott Skiles didn't even take one look at Smith before deciding he wouldn't tolerate him. Smith never reported to the Bulls, and John Paxson tried to turn him around straight away. The Bulls couldn't get a first round pick for him, though, and instead settled on Eisley and the two second rounders .(They later waived Eisley and used the money opened up to sign Adrian Griffin. Yippeeeeeeee.)
Perhaps we needn't miss him too much, though. In his time with Denver, Smith has been charged with assault, disturbing the peace and destruction of property, had his drivers license suspended three times (all three of which came after the fail accident detailed here, amazingly), crashed teammate Carmelo Anthony's car, and has now seen his troubles culminate in this jail sentence.
In this incident, Smith was charged with of improper passing, failure to stop at a stop sign, reckless driving, speeding and failure to wear a seat belt, but mercifully not of vehicular homicide. He also failed to appear in court for his first hearing back in January, drawing a further fine.
That list of bad times also does not include consistent affronts with his coach, George Karl, whose tolerance for Smith's erratic play and mild entitlement is varied at best. Smith has been suspended twice for a combined 13 games, and benched numerous times on top of that. He has never managed to avoid trouble. Seemingly, he's never really tried to.
And he is, after all, just a backup shooting guard.
Still, it's not all bad news; Smith played sufficient minutes last season to earn himself a $600,000 bonus on his contract for next season. So, at the very worst, it's swings and roundabouts.
San Francisco Chronicle: The Kirk Snyder story gets just a little bit weirder, as Snyder is found to be unfit for trial, and apparently refuses to eat.
A judge has found former NBA player and Nevada Wolf Pack star Kirk Snyder not competent to stand trial and ordered that he be force-fed.
Warren County Common Pleas Judge Neal Bronson made the ruling Thursday. He says Snyder has rejected all medications and food and has been hospitalized twice.
Per Local12.com, Snyder has now been sectioned for a year.
Dude. Strange times.
When the story of Snyder's violent outburst initially broke, I had assumed - naturally, if a bit libellously - that Snyder was just a bit powdered up one night, having a crappy evening, and decided to enact revenge on the man whose dog pissed on his lawn the previous morning. Something along those lines, at least. Despite the savage and random nature of the beating, I would have rather believed that it was one bad night of coke-fuelled angst that did not necessarily indicate a pattern of violence and instability, and that maybe Kirk's real issue was just a minor substance problem that could be (relatively) easily sorted.
Unfortunately not. It would appear that Kirk Snyder really has gone a bit crazy. And that's not cool.
A search for any kind of history for Snyder turns up nothing. Snyder may have had a spat with his coach at Nevada, and he suffered from failing grades for a time, but there was nothing there to suggest that he was a future candidate for suicide watch. Nor did anything happen (publicly, at least) in his NBA career that made us wonder if Snyder would one day go on to refuse food and be confined to a psychiatric hospital for a year. And while playing in China last year, scoring big and rebuilding his resume, at no point did we think "this has all the makings of a man who's going to break into his neighbour's house and savagely beat him in full view of his wife". Just didn't pick it.
Also, while we're updating the Kirk Snyder story, here's a video of Corie Blount being sent to prison. Cheech joke and all. You have to put up with a lengthy and somewhat pointless speech from a judge who is clearly revelling in having multiple cameras filming him doing a day's work, but it's worth watching if only for the stunning bowtie on offer from Blount's defense attorney. There's a leniency plea if ever I've seen one. Had it been a spinner, Blount might have been acquitted.
Kirk Snyder's hearing delayed, Darius Miles arrested
Middletown Journal:Kirk Snyder takes further steps to really help his own cause and become a better, well-adjusted person.
A competency hearing for former NBA player Kirk Snyder has been delayed because [he] has been uncooperative with medical experts, court officials said.
Snyder, 25, is accused of breaking in a home and assaulting a man on March 30 near his residence in the Beacon Hill Townhouses in Deerfield Twp.
A Warren County grand jury indicted him on aggravated burglary and felonious assault charges, both felonies, He was also charged with a misdemeanor assault charge for allegedly attacking another inmate at the Warren County Jail after his arrest.
Snyder’s attorney, Hal Arenstein, could not be reached for comment, but he has filed documents in court saying his client is not guilty by reason of insanity and he is not competent to stand trial.
Grizzlies forward Darius Miles was arrested Wednesday and released on bond after being charged with possession of marijuana following a routine traffic stop.
Miles also received a ticket for driving with a suspended license according to the Associated Press, which first reported the story.
.................
Although the Griz haven't publicly stated their intentions, their plan was always to start next season without Miles.
The Griz grew weary of Miles' waning work ethic and his relationship with rookie guard O.J. Mayo.
There was widespread concern in the organization about Miles' off-the-court influence on Mayo near the end of the season.
If there was ever any doubt - and there wasn't - Memphis really did only sign Darius Miles to screw Portland. His reasonably effective play notwithstanding, it was never going to be a long term solution, and there was nothing to gain in the short term either. But, if stiffing Portland was indeed their aim, it worked. Industrious? Yes. Successful? Yes. Embarassing? Definitely yes. Let's pretend it didn't happen.
But, enough of that.
To the bigger issues here: in addition to a fine and most underwhelming Twitter page, this webshite now also has a Facebook fan page. Why? Why not, I say.
If anyone wishes to help out by creating a logo that isn't a copyrighted picture of Ha Seung-Jin's face, then do please contact me.
ESPN.com: Judge somehow finds it impossible to believe that Corie's stash was for personal use only.
Former NBA player and University of Cincinnati star Corie Blount was sentenced to one year in prison on Wednesday in a plea arrangement resulting from drug charges.
Blount, 40, had pleaded guilty in Butler County Common Pleas Court last month to two felony counts of marijuana possession after prosecutors dropped two trafficking charges.
Blount was arrested Dec. 4 after sheriff's deputies intercepted 11 pounds of marijuana sent to him at a relative's house. Investigators said they found another 18 pounds in a subsequent search of his home.
An ex-NBA player plead not guilty by reason of insanity to burglary and assault charges Wednesday, April 15, stemming from an incident in a Deerfield Twp. home last month.
Kirk Snyder, 25, of Deerfield Twp. plead not guilty to charges of aggravated burglary and felonious assault in Warren County Common Pleas Court. Bond was set at $500,000. If he is able to come up with the money, he will be fitted with a GPS monitoring system and is not allowed contact with the neighbors he is accused of attacking. He also is required to surrender his passport as a condition of bond.
As of Thursday morning Snyder was still in the Warren County Jail. He faces a possible 10 years in prison if found guilty.
All right, let's take bets. Who wants to bet me that Snyder was a little powdered up that night? Anyone?
Congratulations to you, Zach Randolph. With this latest arrest, you have moved out of a tie with Cliff Robinson and Rod Strickland for second place, and into a tie with Latrell Sprewell for first place on the "most entries on this website's off-court issues list" list, with 7 seperate documented incidents.
Clippers forward Zach Randolph was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol on Monday morning by the California Highway Patrol.
Several hours later, the Clippers suspended Randolph, 27, for two games for what they called "conduct detrimental to the team." There are five games left in the Clippers' season.
Also, multiple people insinuated that the Kirk Snyder story that featured earlier on this blog might have been an invention of mine. With that in mind, I'd like to remind you that, outside of the occasional attempted Monty Python-style gag on the player profiles (which are hopefully obvious in their inanity), this site is for the representation of true facts only. And lots of them, hopefully. This is not The Onion or the Serious Sports Network. Maybe it should be. But it isn't.
A psychiatric evaluation and suicide watch have been ordered for a former NBA basketball player arrested after he allegedly attacked a neighbor in Warren County.
Kirk Snyder, 25, was arrested early Monday morning for aggravated burglary and felonious assault, and reportedly attacked another inmate in the Warren County Jail Monday night. His attorney entered a plea of not guilty to the charges.
A woman called police to her home in the 5300 block of Commonwealth Drive around 3:40 a.m. Monday, according to the Warren County Sheriff's Office. She told police she heard glass breaking downstairs and when she went to investigate a "tall assailant" pushed past her and ran upstairs.
She said the man then began beating her sleeping husband. The attacker fled when she pulled back the hood he was wearing.
Investigators brought in a K-9 unit which led deputies to Snyder's residence, which is located on the same street.
Snyder's bond has been set at $500,000. Prosecutors called said the violent outbursts are cause for concern, though no reason has been given for either attack.
Warren County Deputies say the player who helped put the University of Nevada-Reno in the Sweet 16 in March 2004 has been arrested for aggravated burglary and felonious assault in Deerfield Township.
Deputies arrested Kirk Snyder early Monday morning at his residence in the 5300 block of Commonwealth Drive in the Beacon Hill townhouses.
Officers say just before 4 a.m., a resident on Commonwealth Drive heard glass breaking downstairs in her house. She tells police when she got up to investigate, a tall man pushed her aside and ran to the upstairs bedroom where he began to assault her sleeping husband. She says while he was beating her husband, she was able to pull the hood away from covering his head and the assailant then fled out the back door where he had broken in.
Deputies say their investigation and a canine led deputies to Snyder’s nearby residence where he was taken into custody within minutes of the offense.
Snyder averaged 34 points and 10 rebounds in China last season, well on the way to rebuilding his NBA resumé. He was staring down a spot on a training camp roster somewhere next year, and should never have fallen out of the NBA in the first place. But apparently all this was secondary to the opportunity of beating a man in front of his wife while he slept.
(Allegedly.)
Great plan, fella.
Additionally, any allegations that I may have recently beaten the living crap out of a hooker in a hotel room are false, and tant amount to scandalous lies.
Knicks center Eddy Curry was slapped with a shocking sex-harassment suit Monday by his former driver, who claims the 6-foot-11 hoopster tried to solicit gay sex from him.
The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky "in the nude," allegedly telling him, "Look at me, Dave, look" and "Come and touch it, Dave."
Curry also made Kuchinsky perform "humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [Curry had ejaculated into] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says.
Not funny if it's true, possibly the funniest thing ever if it isn't. Also, congratulations go to any man who can sued a famous athlete and not ask for $500 billion in the process. Particularly one who may have seen Eddy Curry naked.
The following quote is from WLWT.com, although pretty much everywhere is carrying the story:
The Butler County Sheriff's Office said Blount was arrested Thursday after taking possesion of a package mailed to him containing 11 pounds of marijuana.
The sheriff's office said deputies located a second package of 11 pounds of marijuana and a third package with seven pounds of marijuana at Blount's Liberty Township home.
What the article doesn't mention is Blount's minimal yet interesting history. In 1999, on Christmas Eve, Blount was pulled over for having tinted windows and no front number (license) plate. The police also seized the cash that Blount had on him, an impressive total of $19,435, and handed it to the DEA, after a K-9 unit smelled "drug residue" on it. Blount claimed that the money came from the sale of a car, and had to sue to get it back. No drugs were found on Blount or in the car, and he was not arrested or charged with anything. But the lesson, as always: don't go around with five figures worth of currency on you (unless it's Lira or Egyptian pounds), or people might get the wrong idea. And don't then get arrested nine years down the road for drug possession.
Still. (AND HERE'S THE PUNCHLINE!) You know what they say: Blount by name, blunt by nature!
(I'm ashamed of that joke and might kill myself.)
EDIT: I guess personal use is out of the question, then?
March Madness heroes Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur were thrown out of the NBA's rookie transition program on Wednesday morning after being caught in their hotel room with marijuana, according to several sources.
"They were sent home for violating program rules," NBA spokesman Brian McIntyre said.
Sources said Chalmers and Arthur, who starred on the Kansas Jayhawks' 2008 NCAA championship team, were also fined $20,000 apiece and will start the regular season on the suspended list.
You couldn't hold off for a few days? Really? How the hell do you get caught at the rookie initiation program, a program in which one of the issues tackled is recreational drugs and their presence in the NBA environment?
Nice.
ShamSports.com - where snap judgements on the morality of people with lives far greater than mine are commonplace.
At 7.15 this morning, I finally finished completing a project that I started many moons ago - to try and comprehensively list the criminal records of all current NBA players, as well as some from the recent past. This shit took months, deviated a little at times, and was at other times really, really boring. The occasional interesting discovery made it worthwhile - for example, did you know that Jalen Rose was once arrested in a drugs bust, that Paul Millsap was once arrested for aggravated assault, and that Anthony Peeler once went to alcohol rehab? - but for the most part, it was a grind. Thankfully, though, I got it done.
Literally minutes after I had finished, I check the day's news, and found that Aaron McKie and Rasual Butler had been arrested on weapons charges only yesterday.
There might be something systematically wrong with this league, you know. Things things happn pretty regularly. Already this offseason, those two, Joakim Noah, Chris Wilcox and Carlos Powell have been arrested, and I may be forgetting others. That's....quite a lot of people.
Anyway, the resource is now there, and also here, so be sure to look at it, and go "oooooh!!", and then tell your friends about it, so that they too might partake in an "oooooh!!". Or something more apathetic, like a "meh". Either way, it's a syllable. As with everything, 100% success and comprehensive is not guaranteed, but it IS pretty bitching. Submit any oversights to the usual address.
You're 49-32, fighting for the 8th seed in the playoffs. The team you're battling is 48-32. Even though you have the tiebreaker, you really need to win your last game to ensure the final spot. And it's not going to be easy. It's All Hands On Dick time, with the playoff intensity needing to be in full swing.
What a really stupid time for that. A really, really stupid time. There's never a good time, but this is a particularly stupid one.
If I was earning $13 million this year, I'd get some hired help on the driving. I really would. At the very least, you'd get one of your millions of hangers-on to help you out. That's what they're there for, isn't it? Make them earn their free tickets.
It really is amazingly stupid that DUI's (or DWI's, depending on what state you're in. So to speak.) continue to be so rife in the world of professional sports. And I have no idea why it continues. At least no one died, or crashed while watching porn. So that's something.
In other NBA news, I don't know why this is funny, but it is, and it needs posting, but doesn't merit its own post. So we'll make it an addendum to this one.
Sham is a miserable and self-effacing little bastard, whose basketball opinions are often riddled with bias, insecurity, and rank immaturity. He has also never played the sport, and the only game he has ever been to see was a Ware Rebels game back in 2001. The night bus didn't show up and he had to walk the 9 miles home. It was after this that his passion for basketball really took off.
He considers himself to be Britain's foremost NBA expert, an arbitrary title that carries with it no basis in fact, or any worldly significance. He also wrote this section of the website in third person narrative, purely for reasons of arrogance.
Copyright ShamSports.com, 2005-2010. Every published word on this website
is copyrighted to the website's owner, including (but not limited to)
the really stupid ones that I wish I'd never written.
