Summer league round-up: Detroit Pistons

View the Pistons summer league roster.

- Michael Bramos: Bramos is a Greek shooting guard who recently finished his senior season at the University of Miami, Ohio. (It was news to me that there were two Miami's. Seems unnecessary.) On offense, he's largely an outside shooter since he can't dribble, but he's not a great shooter, shooting 40% from the field and 36% from the three point line in his senior season. He's pretty athletic and very strong for an off-guard (standing 6'5 and 221, which is pretty freaking heavy for a man that height), and he also has a hell of a wingspan. These reasons and more are why Europe is his inevitable destiny; that and the door-opening Greek passport, obviously.

- Will Bynum: Last year was a strange one for Will Bynum. Michael Curry played him and played him and played him and played him for three months, and he sucked. Then, in March, Bynum somehow broke out. He became able to get to the rim at will, and drained 21 footers like he'd never been able to do. Eventually he became a key contributor for the Pistons, had a 32 point 7 assist game versus Charlotte, and averaged nearly 12 points per game for Detroit in the playoffs. And now Pistons fans are grateful that Bynum's going to be on their roster and earning the minimum salary next year.

- Austin Daye: Detroit bailed out Daye's decision to declare way too early by picking him 15th overall this year, a pick with which I am not overly fond. They clearly see more in this athletic jump shooting specialist than I do. (This is a position that, in the long run, I am willing to modify. I admit that I didn't see a lot of Daye in his college career. But I also didn't see a lot in him, either. Yes, he might be the next poor man's Rudy Gay, but remember something; Rudy Gay isn't that good. And that's why Gay's ass is going to be traded at the deadline.)

(Hehe, "Gay's ass".)

- Ibrahim Jaaber: it's quite the surprise to see Jaaber on here, in amongst the undrafted talent and regurgitated D-League filth that so permeates summer league rosters. Jaaber has become a star in Europe recently; as a starting guard for Lottomatica Roma last season, Jaaber averaged 14.1 points, 2.6 points and 2.5 steals in the Italian league. But clearly the NBA is on his mind, or he wouldn't be going to down the summer league route. He is capable of a way bigger stage and way more money than this. Still, good luck to him. It's the American dream.

Ibrahim Jaaber fact: Ibrahim Jaaber, a Brooklyn native who has never played in Bulgaria, has a Bulgarian passport. So does Olympiakos and former Grizzlies forward Mike Batiste. And Chicago Bulls draft pick Mario Austin was offered one, but gallantly refused it. It all seems a bit illicit, doesn't it?

- Jonas Jerebko: Jerebko was one of twelve small forwards drafted by the Pistons this year, but since they're apparently going to sign Deron Washington to a guaranteed deal (which I'll believe when I see it), then it looks like there's no spot for Jerebko to come over this season, even if Walter Sharpe is dumped. Jerebko averaged 9.1 points and 5.5 rebounds for Angellico Biella last season, but still needs to improve his dribbling and his jumpshot. So keeping him overseas seems like the best thing to do. At least give Dajuan Summers the opportunity to flame out first.

- Dwayne Jones: Considering that the Pistons currently only have Kwame Brown at centre, and that Dwayne Jones is kind of NBA calibre-ish, then you have to think that he has a decent chance of making the roster at some point, unless he completely screws the pooch. Jones played 49 minutes with the Boobcats last year, totalling 12 points, 12 rebounds and 6 fouls, and also played 7 minutes in Turkey, totalling 1 point, 1 rebounds and 3 fouls for Efes Pilsen. He spent most of the season in the D-League, playing for three teams; the Iowa Energy (1 game, 1 point, 1 rebound, 4 fouls), the Idaho Stampede (12 games, averaging 14.3 points, 10.3 rebounds and 1.4 blocks) and the Austin Toros (22 games, 17.2 points, 13.5 rebounds, 1.2 blocks). He's never significantly developed his offense, and is now 26, but he's a good enough player to be in the NBA, and he seems to have picked his summer league team wisely. Good chance here.

- Andre Owens: Owens is a former Jazz and Pacers guard who spent last year as one of the two American imports for Crvena Zvezda, the other one being Lawrence Roberts. Those two were also the two oldest players on the team, as the roster outside of them was made up almost exclusively of Serbian and Bosnian youngsters, most of whom will be draft candidates one day soon. (And some of them, including Nemanja Bjelica and Elmeden Kikanovic, are slated to be second rounders next year. But more on them later.) As the veteran star on the team, a role that he's never had anywhere before, Owens averaged 10.4 points, 3.0 rebounds and 2.4 assists in the Eurocup, doing a little bit of everything and shooting fairly well from outside the arc. But Detroit might not have the room for him.

- Trent Plaisted: Plaisted playsted with Jerebko at Angellico Biella last year, which may explain why Detroit zoned in on JJ so early. However, Trent only played in two games with the team - both in October - before being injured and missing the rest of the season. I don't know what his injury was, because I can't read Italian (although I do know that coglioni = bollocks), but the fact that he was sent overseas for a year and yet missed almost all of the year due to injury would imply that a second year abroad is on the cards.

- Walter Sharpe: Sharpe barely played for the Pistons last year, totalling 20 minutes, yet spent hardly any time in the D-League. When he did finally play in 4 games for the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, he kind of sucked, averaging only 10.8 points and 3.5 rebounds. The Pistons drafted three small forwards last year, which also can't bode well for Sharpe's chances. But his guaranteed contract for next year might be his saviour.

- Dajuan Summers: Pistons GM Joe Dumars almost picked Summers at 15, and was happily surprised when Summers fell to their second pick at #35. Not sure why, though, since the only thing the guy can do is shoot. It's nice to be athletic and strong, like he is, but if you can't/won't penetrate (giggidy), and if you can't/won't play defense, then that's worth a whole lot. Still, Summers has potential, and should make the roster.

- Clay Tucker: Tucker was on the Cavaliers team last year, where he was so keen to demonstrate his scoring ability that he didn't make one single pass. He started last year with BC Kyiv, but left when the team released all of its foreign players due to bankruptcy. He then closed out the year in Spain, where he averaged 17.5 points per game for Cajasol Sevilla. Despite now being 29 and having had several goes at it, Tucker has still never gotten an NBA contract, and this time might not work out either.

- Deron Washington: Washington, supposedly, has a guaranteed contract lined up for next season, which isn't something I'm prepared to believe right now. If he does, though, then that'll be something of a surprise. Washington played in Israel last year, averaging 14.1 points and 7.0 rebounds for Hapoel Holon, but he still can't shoot well, and, given their recent draft which I've kind of overrelied on lately, you can see how Detroit may have had other options at the small forward spot. And Arron Afflalo's presence negates any spot minutes that Washington might have gotten as a big two guard. And that's why I don't really believe it. But I'll report it if it happens.

Where Are They Now, 2009; Act 4, Scene 38

Debuting later - some stuff. Keep your eyes firmly peeled on the mid 90's menu to the left and mash refresh religiously - eventually you will be rewarded.

- Lukasz Obrzut was a very insignificant player in the D-League last year, averaging 3.1 ppg and 2.4 rpg over 38 games with both the Bakersfield Jam and the Fort Wayne Mad Ants. Before that, he spent four very insignificant years with Kentucky, never averaging more than 2.0 ppg and 1.8 rpg. Now, he's in Poland, averaging 5.2 points, 3.7 rebounds and 2.9 fouls per game for the powerhouse that is ISS Sportino Inowroclaw (and by "powerhouse", I mean "team in third last place"). How very insignificant.

- It was only a few short years ago that Michael Olowokandi was a starting centre in the Western Conference Finals. Things have changed wildly since then - the money dried up, as did the few skills, and a season of playing for the Celtics on the minimum salary (Kandi didn't need the money, and did it just to prove to himself that he could...apparently) was the last she wrote. Kandi is about to turn 34 with a lenghty history, and I assume him to be unofficially retired.

- In lieu of any Greg Ostertag news, here is a video of him losing at table tennis to a sharply dressed pre-teen.



- Bo Outlaw is retired and now a "community ambassador" for the Orlando Magic.

- Andre Owens is with Red Star Belgrade (Crvena Zvezda), averaging 11.8 points, 3.3 rebounds and 2.8 assists a game in the Adriatic League, and 10.6/2.7/2.3 in the Eurocup. Owen was also recently the victim of an attack by a fan - or at least, a really bad attempt at one - and you can read about that here

- Olumide Oyedeji is in China, which is good news for us all. Playing for Shanxi Zhongyu, Oyedeji averages 20.4 points and a slightly staggering 19.4 rebounds per game. The assists, steals and blocks numbers aren't bad either; 2.8, 2.2, 1.6. Oyedeji has had 37 double doubles in his 39 games, and has not had less than 10 rebounds in any game; in the two games where he missed a double-double, his stat lines read:

4 points, 21 rebounds, 6 assists, 4 blocks.
8 points, 16 rebounds, 1 assist.

That's prime Ben Wallace territory, that. They should have known that it was going to go well when Oyedeji put up 23 points, 24 rebounds and 9 assists on his debut. Do you love reading these numbers? Me too. They constantly s*** on all these "faceless player averages 7 points and 3 rebounds in some obscure European league" entries that I have to write. They pale in comparison to this. 19.4 rebounds a game! 7 offensive! Averaging 45 minutes a game! Good times. Very good times.

- Robert Pack hasn't been heard from since his entirely unexpected stint with the Toronto Raptors in 2005 preseason. That was three and a half years ago now. He is now a travel agent (true story), and was an assistant coach for the San Antonio Spurs's entry at the 2008 Rocky Mountain Revue.

- David Padgett went to training camp with the Miami Heat, signed a contract immediately after it (essentially this meant just signing for training camp really early), didn't make the team, and was waived. He has not signed elsewhere since, presumably living it up on his $35,000 guarantee.

- After Scott Padgett's NBA career ended abruptly after a trade to the Memphis Grizzlies and a subsequent waiving, he signed in Spain for about two weeks with CB Granada. This was back in April 2007. He has not been heard from since. He's not a missing person or dead or anything. I just can't find any news on him. He probably does real estate now, though. They all do.

- Milt Palacio is the starting point guard for Khimky in Russia, averaging 6.4 points, 2.2 rebounds and 2.0 assists in the Russian league, alongside 5.2 points, 1.7rebounds and 3.5 assists in the Eurocup. I watched Milton play the other day, and if any Jazz fans out there are wondering in Fellatio still hits the underside of the backboard with his layups.......yep! More good times.

- Adam Parada's last 5 basketball destinations are as follows - Mexico, Philippines, Sacramento Kings, Jordan, the ABA. One of those is not like the others. Parada currently finds himself in Japan, playing for the Mitsubishi Melco Dolphins. The Japanese league is not like the Chinese league, for not only are the team names intelligible, but there's also not nearly the wealth of fringe NBA talent in it. However, this doesn't mean that Adam Parada can't still be brilliant, and he doesn't let us down, delivering a scintilating 13.97 points and 7.8 rebounds a game.

- Finally, Jannero Pargo left the NBA for Dynamo Moscow to great fanfare, and then left Dynamo Moscow to slightly less fanfare after the team fell behind on their payments to him. (This hasn't stopped them from signing Brian Chase as a replacement, though.) Pargo since signed with Olympiakos, where his sole aim is to have a slightly more successful stint than Olympiakos's other former Hornet guard, Arvydas Macijauskas. Pargo has delivered on that (albeit only slightly), averaging 4.7 points and 2.7 assists in his three Euroleague games so far, after averaging rougly 13/4/5 for Dynamo.

Summer signings, round 25

Celery! All! Done!

- Andre Owens signed with Red Star Belgrade, which kind of answers my question about whether you'd rather have Horace Jenkins or Alex Scales . The answer is apparently neither. Good answer.

- The Lakers signed Brandon Heath for training camp. Heath did a decent job pretending to be a point guard for the Clippers' summer league team this season, and by "did a decent job", I mean "put up 3 assists and 13 turnovers in 5 games". (For what it's worth, he looked better than those numbers do. Although that's not hard.) They also signed C.J. Giles, taking their training camp roster up to 18 players already, and with an offer to Didier Ilunga-Mbenga still out there. They are also supposedly working out Jelani McCoy, so clearly they're looking for a tall crappy centre. All of this means that there's no room any more for Ira Newble, which we sorta already knew, but which this writer wants to confirm.

- Chris Quinn re-signed with the Miami Heat, and may well be the starter at point guard next year. Since winning the championship, the Heat have publicly pursued everybody, ever. From Mickael Pietrus to Smush Parker to Charlie Bell to Penny Hardaway, the Heat have made a play for everybody that has ever played the game, with almost no success on the free agency front. And now, three years into their search, their starting point guard figures to be Chris effing Quinn. This probably isn't pleasant for Heat fans. (And no offense to Chris Quinn, by the way. It's just that......you know.)

- Darryl Watkins has signed with the San Antonio Spurs for training camp, a move that brings with it no incisive follow-up comment or silly joke.

- The Cavaliers finally re-signed Delonte West to a very fair deal. Worryingly, the Cavaliers have had a pretty good offseason. They've re-signed West and Daniel Gibson for decent value, traded peripheral pap for a starter and scorer in Maurice Williams, made two good draft picks in J.J. Hickson and Darnell Jackson to reinforce their weakest position, and made a good depth signing with Tarence Kinsey. Of course, they still inexplicably signed Lorenzen Wright (if you need a veteran third string centre, fine, but NOT HIM. Jesus, not him. Jake Voskuhl's still out there, for instance, and Jake's all right), but it mostly went well. If they find a way to never let Ben Wallace take the court again, and turn Wally Szczerbiak's expiring into a talented player, they might get over the hump that they've been painfully short of lately. There you go, I've credited Danny Ferry. I will now sever my own arms.

- A post from the dark ages informed you paupers that Thunder draft pick DeVon Hardin had signed in Turkey. However, I'm now here to inform you that he's no longer signed in Turkey, for the team let him go due to a stress fracture in his right foot. That's what they do in the continent - they release you if you hurt yourself. Seems harsh.

- Gabe Muoneke was also released, by Asvel in France, but not because of injury. Apparently he didn't "fit" the team's "profile". So it would appear that Asvel think they have room to be choosy when it comes to signing fringe NBA players.

- In spite of the fact that this is ostensibly a list of 'signings', the last two entries were the opposite of that, and this one makes three straight. More than once (i.e. twice), I have made reference to the ongoing Jumaine Jones saga. For those uninformed, Jones somehow managed to sign with two teams at the same time, causing a legal battle. This saga has now been resolved - Jones has been suspended by FIBA for a year, and since FIBA and the NBA respect each other's contracts and suspensions, this means that Jones is now out of basketball for a year, a worrisome proposition for a 29 year old with NBA aspirations. Bad times.

- And now, some signings. Big signings, at that. Ken Johnson has signed with Telekom Baskets Bonn in Germany. Take a minute to let that sink in.

- The Orlando Magic found their third string point guard of dreams in Mike Wilks, while Pat Garrity officially announced his retirement. Mike Wilks should have been in the NBA last year, and Pat Garrity shouldn't, so this is justice more than anything. God speed, Pat Garrity, and all who sail within you.

- Robert Swift re-signed with Oklahoma City, taking his qualifying offer of three and a bit million dollars. This was a good idea for a man who has played 8 games in the last two years and who still hasn't recovered from an incredibly bad knee injury. I hope Robert Swift gets healthy, by the way. He was getting somewhere as a player.

- Steve Castleberry signed with Podebrady Sadska in the Czech Republic. Right now, you're probably thinking "who the fuck is Steve Castleberry?" It's a good argument, well constructed.

- And finally, some bonus trivia. Former Mavericks guard Jon Stefansson has gone back to Iceland, signing with KR Reykjavik and thereby foregoing a decent basketball career. Also, another former Maverick, forward Ruben Wolkowyski, has been offered a contract by Spanish team Fuenlabrada. Ruben Wolkowyski is easily the worst player I have ever seen in my life, and I've seen Steve Goodrich. And Steve Goodrich wasn't good. Or rich.

More importantly, Shawn Kemp has arrived with his new Italian team, Montegranaro, and now we get to see what shape he's in. The answer is....not bad.


Photo courtesy of whoever took it, and used without permission.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of Quinton Ross?

There follows a list of the remaining unsigned NBA free agents, and what they're currently rumoured to be doing about their jobless selves. Most of these players suck, because we're over a month into free agency now. Yet this list may still serve as a useful resource if you're sifting through the remaining chunks of free agency vomit, looking for gold dust and/or your brand new watch, relentlessly apologising for ruining the whole party and vowing never to mix Bourbon and Gaymers again. Maybe.

NOTE - decent free agents from other leagues not listed partly because this is an NBA website, and partly because I can't be bothered.


Point guards:

- Kevin Ollie: Recently annointed a role model for reasons other than just the moustache, that video is possibly the only thing on the internet that suggests that some teams want to sign Ollie. By the way, did you know that that's how he spoke? I didn't. I thought it'd be deeper than that. Ho hum.

- Shaun Livingston: Still not cleared to play basketball. In spite of this, the Clippers have talked to him about re-signing anyway, and Miami and Phoenix both also showed an interest. And why wouldn't they? Take a look down this list at how bad the rest of this free agency point guards list is. If you needed a point guard, wouldn't you rather have the guy whose knee doesn't work, than, say, Smush Parker?

- Sam Cassell: Said he intends to play one more year before becoming an assistant coach. "Expects" to stay with the Celtics, who don't seem to be reciprocating quite as much. Cassell either was or wasn't a judge at a pole dancing competition, depending on whether you believe the Boston Globe or Sam himself.

- Jannero Pargo: Apparently on the cusp of signing with the San Antonio Spurs, which seems like an odd decision. Firstly, they don't have much money to give him, which is the reason why Jannero has opted out of contracts two years in a row. Secondly, the reason that they don't have any money is because they spent it on Roger Mason Jr, and why the HELL would you want to pair Jannero Pargo and Roger Mason Jr? Not sure I get that. Even if you start Mason - an idea fraught with danger - and persevere with bringing Manu Ginobili off of the bench, you still get a load of duplication from those two. So what's the point?

- Darrell Armstrong: His agent says that Armstrong has turned down "multiple" coaching opportunities in favour of one more go-around as a player. (If that makes sense.) Orlando were mildly interested. The Nets....less so.

- Dan Dickau: Is considering signing with one of several European teams. He has to - the money's good, and the NBA offers are sparse. More importantly, Dan Dickau is also to host a celebrity poker tournament, sweetened by the deal-breaking offer of a gift bag. So get famous and sign up.

- Damon Stoudamire: The only team with the slightest reported interest is Phoenix. It doesn't seem surprising that no one's looking at Damon, given how badly he did with the Spurs last year, and also because of the giant salad fork sticking out of his back.

- Jason Williams: My great idea for him to re-sign with Sacramento doesn't seem to be working out, given that they brought back a different old boy instead in Bobby Jackson. Williams has had offers from at least one European team, but he doesn't sound too keen on the idea. Shaq wants him in Phoenix, which doesn't really mean anything.

- Andre Owens: No idea. Nothing.

- Chris Quinn (restricted): Hot shit, apparently. The Timberwolves, Clippers, Hawks, Warriors and Wizards have apparently all expressed an interest, and the Heat still have a qualifying offer out there. Life is good for Chris Quinn, even if he is technically unemployed.

- Lindsey Hunter: Hasn't yet decided it he wants to play one more season. If he does, it'll be with Detroit.

- Blake Ahearn: Says that Minnesota "really likes" him after his performances for their summer league team, but hasn't signed anything yet.




Shooting guards:

- Ben Gordon (restricted): Wants a payday like the one Luol Deng just got, in spite of the fact that he has absolutely no free agency suitors other than the Bulls, and also that he isn't as good as Deng. The Bulls want him back - or at least say that they do - and talks are ongoing. But, in the words of fabled philosopher Tim Baland, it's gone get ugly, if it hasn't done so already. (Note: original lyrics may differ.)

- J.R. Smith (restricted): Denver have said that they will match any offer, but Cleveland are apparently about to test that resolve with a full mid level exception offer. Jesus, people. It's J.R. Smith.

- Michael Finley: His agent Henry Thomas says that Finley has turned down some fairly lucrative European offers in favour of a final turn in the NBA. His agent also claims that several "championship calibre teams" want Finley, which means there's no chance of a return to Dallas. (Ho ho ho, see what I did there?)

- Delonte West (restricted): Cleveland are half-arsedly negotiating with him, while also trying far harder to sign J.R. Smith, and simultaneously bringing in Tarence Kinsey as an insurance policy. That can't make West feel good. Boston were supposedly interested in taking him back, and a well paid European offer is on the table, as it is for basically everybody. In fact, it might make more sense for me to merely say who ISN'T being offered big money from Europe.

- Devin Brown: He's not going back to Cleveland. Dallas, New Orleans, Denver and Atlanta are his suitors.

- Gordan Giricek: Wants to return to Phoenix, the team with whom he enjoyed a decent cameo to end last season, but the Suns won't offer more than the minimum, which Giricek won't take. There's a lucractive European offer on the table - OBVIOUSLY - and also some NBA offers from teams that no one wants to name. They must be embarassed at themselves or osmething.

- Ronald Murray: Cleveland "enquired", and that's all we've got. Is it me, or are the Indiana press totally disinterested in reporting the potential destinations of their free agent guards? We know they're not going back to Indiana, but play the game, at least.

- Kirk Snyder: Minnesota didn't offer him a QO, then acquired Rodney Carney to take his place, and no other teams seem to have showed interest? Why is that? He's not THAT bad.

- Quinton Ross: Renounced by the Clippers, ignored by everyone else. WHY, God? WHY? Kareem Rush gets signed early, yet Quinton Ross can't even find a suitor. Rigoddamndiculous.

- Fred Jones: In keeping with our recent little string of "not all that bad shooting guards getting unfairly overlooked", Fred Jones is unsigned and unloved. Come on now. These players aren't great, or even starters. But they're decent players, being dealt the disservice of being stuck at the NBA deepest position. I demand that they be signed.

- Juan Dixon: Gilbert Arenas wants him back in Washington. That's about it.

- Salim Stoudamire: I want to sign him. I'm the only one, though.

- Derek Anderson: Nothing.

- Von Wafer: Played summer league with the Knicks, but won't make their roster.

- Shannon Brown: Couldn't (or wouldn't) even get a summer league spot. He's gone.

- Casey Jacobsen: Memphis waived Tarence Kinsey for this guy, don't you know? Jacobsen isn't going back to Memphis, and has no NBA interest to fall back on.

- Yakhouba Diawara: For seemingly no reason, Denver is considering re-signing Diawara, despite just replacing him with the superior Dahntay Jones. Well, good for them.

- Eric Piatkowski: In recent weeks, Piatkowski has lit the torch at the 24th Cornhusker State Games (whatever they are), and gotten caught up in some dodgy business. However, there's no news of another NBA contract, despite how much Pike wants it. Nonetheless, in that first link, we are treated to the finest Eric Piatkowski quote of all time:

I refuse to not be successful in everything I do.

Apart from double negative usage classes, you never will not be.

- Mario West: Stayed with Atlanta for summer league, but, without a qualifying offer, it doesn't look too likely that he's going back. No one else has said much.

- Ronald Dupree: Went to Oklahoma City's summer league team wearing Seattle Supersonics coloured shoes, albeit probably not on purpose. Unlikely to return, but the man remains confident.

- DerMarr Johnson: Being arrested for DUI didn't do much to strengthen his position as a fringe NBA player.



Small forwards:

- Andre Iguodala (restricted): Negotiations with the Sixers are still in "limbo", but...come on. He's going back there. Where the hell else is he going? The man will fight for the biggest payday, but we all know that he'll get one eventually. Let's not pretend otherwise. Feel free to berate me mercliessly for writing all this bobbins once Iguodala takes the one year qualifying offer and signs with Portland next summer.

- Bonzi Wells: Surprisingly overlooked. New Orleans would rather bring back Ryan Bowen than Bonzi, which is the worst insult that you can give a man. The 6 year contract from Sacramento that Bonzi turned down two years ago is getting ever more hurtful.

- Devean George: Has "several" suitors, but the Clippers are no longer among them, and Dallas apparently aren't either.

- Dorell Wright (restricted): The Heat are "open" to a sign and trade, but to who? No one seems to have expressed an interest.

- Jeremy Richardson (restricted): You can pretty much pencil him in for the Hawks training camp.

- Louis Amundson: A month ago, it seemed a matter of time before Amundson signed a contract with the Golden State Warriors. But then it didn't happen. And now I don't know what's happening.

- Demetris Nichols (restricted): With no suitors and a qualifying offer out there, he'll almost certainly be going to the Bulls training camp, to battle for a spot with players cheaper than he.

- Awvee "Booooo!" Storey: Had his team option declined by Milwaukee, but played on their summer league team anyway. Didn't play very well. No one else wants him.

- Michael Gelabale: No one seems interested, which is probably due to his bad knee injury more than anything.

- Ryan Bowen: See above. A league in which Ryan Bowem has more suitors than Quinton Ross is a very fucked-up league indeed.

- Ira Newble: Nothing to report.

- Marcus Williams: Renounced by the Clippers, not courted by others.

- Linton Johnson: It would make sense to return to Phoenix for the minimum, but that's just me theorising, and not a breaking news report.

- Kasib Powell (restricted): Played well for the Heat in summer league, and looks destined to at least go to their training camp, if not make the regular season roster.



Power forwards:

- Josh Smith (restricted): Still unsigned, as well you know. But it's hard to imagine Atlanta buggering this one up.

- Carl Landry (restricted): The Rockets are idiots if they don't re-sign him. Given that they're clearing out some salary by dumping Steve Novak, it looks as though they intend to.

- Austin Croshere: Theories abound of a Golden State return, but nothing is certain.

- Paul Davis: The Clippers renounced him, but were talking about re-signing him anyway, until news of the impending Steve Novak trade. So that probably rules Davis out.

- James Augustine: Waived by Orlando. If anyone can explain to me how a man that wasn't under contract was able to be waived, let me know.

- Othella Harrington: The knees don't work any more, so don't expect a return.

- Juwan Howard: Things are looking bleak.

- Andre Brown: Nada.

- Shavlik Randolph: Randolph didn't look too bad in his rookie season but has barely taken the court since. No suitors, as you'd expect.

- Sean Marks: Can you believe that Sean Marks has been in the league for 8 years now? 8 years??? How many games has he played in that time? Can't be more than about 14, surely. Things don't look good for a ninth year, but Phoenix seem to love veteran offensive players on minimum salary contracts, so a third year there is still plausible.

- Pat Garrity: His agent said that he (Pat, not the agent) will probably retire if he doesn't re-sign with Orlando. So he's basically destined to retire.

- Robert Horry: The Spurs don't seem to want to play any more, which leaves Horry dangerously short of options, unless the Celtics need someone to mentor Brian Scalabrine.

- Nick Fazekas: The Clippers eventually retracted his qualifying offer - with his consent - which makes Fazekas a free man. Or, if you look at it another way, a homeless man.



Centres:

- Jake Voskuhl: Doesn't even register. NBA people barely acknjowledge his existence. There is always a rush in September to sign tall "defensive" veteran centres, so Voskuhl may get work then, but any dreams of a contract similar to last year's $3 million one from the Milwaukee Bucks have gone by now. They should never have existed in the first place, really.

- Jamaal Magloire: See Voskuhl, but change it to $4 million. Maybe people are starting to recognise that he hasn't been good for about 4 years.

- P.J. Brown: I have no evidence to back this up, but given that he just won the title, wouldn't this be a good moment to call it quits?

- Dikembe Mutombo: His agent says that he won't play for the minimum, which doesn't bode well for his chances of a return to the cost cutting Rockets. That's OK - they'll still have the best defensive team in the NBA even without him.

- Francisco Elson: Was rumoured to be talking to Denver about a possible return, but the Nuggets signed Chris Andersen instead because he was cheaper. Negotiating with the Clippers.

- Robert Swift (restricted): Oklahoma City seem keen to keep him, as evidenced by the qualifying offer that they gave him, despite how little he has played in two years. Other teams seem more perturbed by Swift's incessant knee problems, perhaps rightly so. Personally, I hope it all works out great for him.

- Michael Doleac: His agent offered Doleac's services to Orlando, but do they really need another sub-par backup big man? Does anyone, in fact?

- Chris Richard (restricted): Kevin McHale makes it sound as though Richard's definitely returning. The cheap price and the lack of suitors seem to confirm this.

- Theo Ratliff: I swear I read somewhere during midseason that he intended to retire after this season, but I can't find it now, so forget that I said anything.

- David Harrison: The Pacers have ruled out re-signing him, leaving Harrison with roughly zero options.

- Earl Barron: The Heat are out of room, and Barron's not 18 years old any more. No suitors.

- Alonzo Mourning: Said "one more season" for about the fifth time, but hasn't signed yet.

- Scot Pollard: Unsigned, and not courted, which probably has something to do with the reconstructive surgery on both ankles. And also the fact that it's Scot Pollard.

- Dwayne Jones: Not expected back with Cleveland, which leaves him shit out of luck. Shame.

- Michael Ruffin: No news is normally good news, unless you're Michael Ruffin and yot're awaiting news from your agent of possible contract offers from NBA teams.

- Didier Ilunga-Mbenga: Might be invited to the Lakers training camp, or he might not. It's going to be inconsequential either way.

- Lorenzen Wright: Considering how bad he was during his two years in Atlanta - when he had 186 points, 253 rebounds and 230 fouls - I'm going to go out on a limb and say that no one will sign him. I've got a crow ready and waiting, but I think he's safe.



It's hard to think that all of that crap was in the NBA last year. Bad times.