"What hath God wrought - Todd MacCulloch has changed his name." - Bill Walton


 
 

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Tuesday, 2 December 2008

They call me Sham Slidy. I'm back. Etc.

What is better than a holiday? I'll tell you what's better than a holiday: a full English breakfast is better than a holiday. It really is. Eggs, beans, a copious amount of sausages, bacon, toast, hash browns, mushies, black pudding if you've got it, OJ......yes, yes, that is definitely better than a holiday.

Another thing that is better than a holiday is two holidays, and that's what I've been having. This explains what looks to the casual observer like my continued absence. My last blog post, dated about three weeks ago, spoke of an impressive, overdue and highly important return to action, and yet this is only my second blog post of the whole season, after a month of November that saw only one feeble effort. A cynic would say that I've been away, and a particularly ruthless Mozambiquey (Mozambiquish?) Army General might have me shot for dereliction of duty.

However, that Mozambolian Army General would be wrong, and so would the cynic. I have not been neglecting this website, nor have I been neglecting you, dear viewer. Instead, I have been having a working holiday, if such a thing is possible for an unemployed man. While the blog hasn't been updated, the rest of this webshite has. In recent days, I have:

1: Provided a better vehicle for the site's increased focus on world basketball. (Look left.) While this remains an NBA focused website, a large part of that is documenting the players on the outskirts of the league with a realistic chance of being in it one day. For this reason, the rosters section has been expanded greatly, and player movement worldwide will now be documented via the worldwide transactions page, and the accompanying blog that'll probably never be used. The players database has also been expanded to contain such hugely important people as Joe Forte, Ansu Sesay, Rashad Anderson and Pablo Prigioni, so that they too may now not be written about. These developments come off of the background of the staggeringly mildly successful series of "Where are they now?" blog posts of last season, and such blog posts will now be made on that blog instead. Because I said so.

2: Begun the D-League coverage that was initially planned about two years ago. As the blurb above describes, this website is increasing its focus on the players just outside the NBA, and this is the reason for the sudden and uninspiring new D-League focus. A lot of the players in the D-League are crap and will never make the NBA, so the coverage will only focus on those with a perceived chance. For example, the insatiably named Xavier Whipple may never get a profile on here, whereas Antoine Jordan already did. This will probably be the high point of Antoine's life, and if Xavier Whipple kills himself in the coming days, then it was only a coincidence. All of this exciting new material can be found in the menu to the left, to the left. Mmmmmm. To the left, to the left. Everything I made in the box to the left.

3: Added more lookalikes, for those who like that sort of thing. I do.

4: Expanded the database, so that it now covers almost 10 million players. (Or 1,100. Whichever. Either way, it's more writing that I haven't yet done.)

5: Built three new features that you can't see yet. (Oh! The! Suspense!)

6: Written a DraftExpress post that you also can't see yet.

7: Completed the 2009 free agents lists, now available in three new and improved flavours: by name, by team, and by position.

8: Finished the overdue, slightly pointless but entirely unique 2008 Offseason Review.

9: Updated all the pre-existing information, including (but not limited to): assistant coaches lists (see team pages), depth charts, rosters, cap holds, D-League affiliates, and everything except the salaries because I can't be bothered with them yet.

10: Written the player profiles for T.J. Ford, Anthony Roberson, Chris Kaman, Jared Reiner, Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade and Matt Barnes. (Only 800 to go!)

11: Finished the character issues section.

12: Agreed to be the host of a new, Around The Horn style podcast, featuring the four most pre-eminent Chicago Bulls podcasts on the web (Bulls Beat, Bullseye, Bullscast, and the other one). More details on this as, when, and if I can be bothered.



So you see, I do do stuff. (Note: my working holiday comes with less photos than my actual holiday. Be grateful.)

The downside of all this is that I might blog a bit less. As an aspiring NBA General Manager with no qualifications or skills to speak of, it's important that I use this website as my curriculum vitae to demonstrate my large and hopefully accurate knowledge of the NBA, and the players both in it and on its fringes. This is the reason for all the expansion. Will it work? No, but I'm doing it anyway.

But anyway, who the hell cares about all that. That's all just self congratulatory bollocks. Let's bring the noise. Here are some of my opinions on stuff.

1: The Al Harrington/Jamal Crawford trade looks like the epitomy of a win win trade. For a discontented player who had absolutely no worth on the depth chart, the Warriors managed to get a much needed short term fill-in at point guard, and a man who also isn't a bad fit alongside Monta Ellis, assuming that Monta ever plays for the Warriors again. Meanwhile, New York got a player that Mike D'Antoni can occasionally pretend is a centre (it's not that farfetched - Al Harrington played a lot of centre in his Hawks days, albeit not very well), while more importantly opening up a few more million in 2010 cap room. The Warriors have no 2010 ambitions, so they sacrificed something that they didn't want for something that they sorely needed. They will, however, suck anyway. (Incidentally, it's kind of a shame how things have worked out with Chris Mullin. He made a lot of mistakes in his early days in charge, but then put them right, and assembled a fine young roster. But then his superiors somewhat sold him out, Baron Davis let him down by opting out, and Ellis let him down by falling off a bike that he shouldn't have been on. Now he has a team with a poor record, a clusterfuck of a roster, and a contract that's about to run out with an owner that has completely different ideas to that of his own. It's a shame. For a while there, things really went his way. Oh well.)

2: Additionally, moving Zach Randolph and Mardy Collins to the Clippers for Tim Thomas and Cuttino Mobley was also a coup for the Knicks. For all the bellyaching I did about Donnie Walsh's summer moves - overpaying for a backup in Chris Duhon, drafting Danilo Galinari at number 6 who allegedly has no chance of being a star and who has the depth chart stacked against him, and dealing one of the team's few reasonable players in Renaldo Balkman to save money after overpaying for Duhon and being unwilling or unable to move the crappy players in front of him - I give Walsh the plaudits for finding a plan (2010), and executing it well. The fact that we're currently having to watch David Lee as a full time center is secondary - the Knicks had the balls and the patience to trade two of their three best players for unwanted bit parts, all for a one year saving on their salaries. Rarely is the 2010 plan (or any capspace plan) worthwhile for the teams involved. But in the Knicks case, it was. And now they've facilitated it. So well done them. As for the Clippers, God knows what they expect to achieve. Getting a 20/10 (not 2010) player for spare parts should always be desirable, but in this case, it isn't. And I can't write much more about their side of the deal without borrowing too heavily from this piece what I's already wrote.

3: The seminal baseball journalism blog FireJoeMorgan.com has closed down, as its proprietors - people with jobs - have decided to do those jobs instead. This seems like a misuse of their time, but whatever. The point is that they'll be missed. (For those unaware, FireJoeMorgan.com was a baseball site that didn't cover baseball, but which covered other people's coverage of baseball. It was not merely a campaign to fire Joe Morgan, as the URL would have suggested. Acerbic to a tee and with a turn of phrase that would make Pynchon weep, the site made baseball writers and broadcasters - particularly the one whose name was in the URL - look really bloody stupid. Yet it did not entirely set out to do this - all that the team behind it had to do was to let the writers write whatever they like. The writer's stupidity was all their original work. FJM just let them hang themselves with line breaks and the occasional bit of sense. That's all that was needed for the ridiculous old boys network that governs Major League Baseball - and those who cover it - to show their true inanity, as they spewed forth their eternal semi-ons for the easily rectifiable myths that have ensured their job security up until now. Sadly, it looks like they'll now get away with it. Damn shame.)

Finally, and most importantly, number 4: It only occured to me the other day just how phallic an overhead shot of half a basketball court looks.



That is all. I am now off to watch all the games that I've missed out on.

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Friday, 9 November 2007

Player profiles known to be in existence

Sometimes people ask me if there's a way to find out which player profiles have been written and which have not, as about 75% of them aren't complete as we speak.

Well, there isn't. Or rather, there wasn't. For I'm now going to tell you.

The following have been done:

Josh Childress, Jason Collier, Tony Delk, John Edwards, Al Harrington, Royal Ivey, Joe Johnson, Tyronn Lue, Zaza Pachulia, Donta Smith, Josh Smith, Salim Stoudamire, Marvin Williams, Tony Allen, Marcus Banks, Mark Blount, Curtis Borchardt, Will Bynum, Ricky Davis, Dan Dickau, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Orien Greene, Al Jefferson, Raef LaFrentz, Kendrick Perkins, Paul Pierce, Justin Reed, Brian Scalabrine, Delonte West, Qyntel Woods, Alan Anderson, Keith Bogans, Primoz Brezec, Kevin Burleson, Matt Carroll, Melvin Ely, Raymond Felton, Jason Kapono, Brevin Knight, Sean May, Antonio Meeking, Emeka Okafor, Bernard Robinson Jr, Cream Rush, Jake Voskuhl, Gerald Wallace, Malik Allen, Eddie Basden, Tyson Chandler, Eddy Curry, Antonio Davis, Luol Deng, Chris Duhon, Ben Gordon, Othella Harrington, Kirk Hinrich, Andres Nocioni, Jannero Pargo, Eric Piatkowski, Drew Gooden, LeBron James, Ira Newble, Erick Dampier, Jerry Stackhouse, Earl Boykins, Marcus Camby, Julius Hodge, Andre Miller, Luke Schenscher, Darko Milicic, Adonal Foyle, Jason Richardson, Chris Taft, Jon Barry, Bob Sura, Austin Croshere, Sarunas Jasikevicius, Scot Pollard, Zeljko Rebraca, Stanislav Medvedenko, Smush Parker, Eddie Jones, Jake Tsakalidis, Lorenzen Wright, Dwyane Wade, Dorell Wright, Andrew Bogut, Desmond Mason, Bobby Simmons, Joe Smith, Kevin Garnett, Troy Hudson, Michael Olowokandi, Vince Carter, Jason Collins, Zoran Planinic, P.J. Brown, Jamaal Magloire, Krik Snyder, Jamal Crawford, Penny Hardaway, Jerome James, David Lee, Michael Sweetney, Steve Francis, Pat Garrity, Raja Bell, Kurt Thomas, Dijon Thompson, Juan Dixon, Khryapa the Rapper, Darius Miles, Travis Outlaw, Ruben Patterson, Joel Przybilla, Zach Randolph, Theo Ratliff, Ha Seung-Jin, Sebastian Telfair, Kevin Martin, Ronnie Price, Brian Skinner, Bruce Bowen, Tony Parker, Rick Brunson, Vitaly Potapenko, Rafer Alston, Eric Williams, Loren Woods, Carlos Boozer, Devin Brown, Keith McLeod, Antonio Daniels, Dan Dickau, Jared Jefferies, Peter John Ramos, Gary Payton, Eddie House, Jay Williams, Rodney Buford, Adrian Griffin, Darvin Ham, Glenn Robinson, Michael Curry, Christian Laettner, James Thomas, Marcus Fizer, Paul Shirley, Matt Freedgy, Keon Clark, Ben Handlogten, Obinna Ekezie, Jared Reiner, Don Reid, Albert Miralles, Andreas Glyniadakis, Cenk Akyol, Darius Songaila, Marcus Douthit, Roger Mason Jr, Shawn Bradley, Slavko Vranes, Szyzmon Szewcyk, Tamar Slay, Ronny Turiaf, Martynas Andriuskevicius, Horace Jenkins, Vlade Divac, Jerome Williams, Andrew DeClercq, David Andersen, Esteban Batista, Josip Sesar, Roberto Duenas, Frederic Weis, Luis Scola, Cezary Trybanski, Norm Richardson, Corey Williams, Kennedy Winston, Ime Udoka, Herve Lamizana, Stephen Graham, Noel Felix, whoever Omar Thomas is, Chris Alexander, Steven Barber, Adam Chubb, Anthony Grundy, Nigel Dixon, Darius Rice, Andrei Fetisov, Aurelijius Zukauskas, Tyrus Thomas, Joakim Noah, Brandon Roy, Sheldon Williams, Marcus Williams, Solomon Jones, Leon Powe, Cheikh Samb, Damir Markota, Allan Ray, Walter Herrmann, Alain Digbeu, Ben Pepper, Ivan McFarlin, Jefferson Sobral, Joe Shipp, Tyler Smith, Aaron Gray, Wilson Chandler, Jermareo Davidson, Coby Karl, Rashid Byrd, Brent Petway, Roderick Wilmont, Jared Homan, Joseph Blair, Alvin Jones and Brad Stricker.


This list took 45 minutes to compile so you'd better use it, or else.

That's an idle threat since I have no way of punishing you if you don't do so, so just ignore it.

What I'd like to do is rig up a comments system where each profile has its own comments section like these blogs posts do. But I don't know how to do that. If you do know, and you wish to tell me, and if you wish to help me accepting that you won't get paid in any way, why not write in and tell me?

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