"Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey." - Charles Barkley.


 
 

NBA Salaries index

There follows a link to all teams salaries, accompanied by an anagram of that team's name. For no reason at all.

- Hank La Swatta (Italian-American pest removal expert)
- Bisect T. Colons (pioneering surgeon and amateur botanist)
- Bob the Scrotal Cat (a small part in the musical "Cats")
- Cos I chug ball (no comment)
- Viva Dell Clearances! (euphoria as computer shop has sale)
- "Marvel! Salad sick!" (doctors pioneer vomiting foodstuffs)
- Never get dungs (wife's advice to husband shopping for first time)
- Stop idiot Stern (don't sue)
- Worst garroted aliens (begs the question, who are the best?)
- The sun rocks, too (it does)
- Aid rap canines (sponsor a Dogg for just £2 a month)
- Lager closes nipples (funny, I find it does the opposite)
- General Al K. Losses (a famous general)
- Memphis Grizzlies (I got nothing.) (NB: STOP SENDING THEM IN.)
- Hi. I am meat. (So am I. We have lots in common)
- We suck bum alike (transliteral Japanese anime porn)
- Interwoven metabolisms (or, "Lesbian M removes own tit")
- Wee Jenny rests (after a long day of shooting dwarf porn, maybe)
- Narrow Toneless Hen (the arch nemesis of Fat Baritone Pigeon)
- Wonky knickers (wee Jenny's embarassing medical affliction)
- Tail Mud Horny Hotcake (I just wanted to say horny hotcake)
- Macaroni Gold (straight-to-video Joe Pesci film)
- '67 Papa, hellish ride (don't know what this is. Used car advert?)
- Punish on sex (tough on sex, tough on the causes of sex)
- Part Troll: Zebra Island (the next Bill Bailey DVD)
- Making Ancestors (for those not into making babies)
- Ass Patrons Union (I'd join this, by the way)
- Ran to port roots (the diary entry of a mutinying pirate)
- A jazz hut (like you could do better)
- Zits! Onward: washing! (words to live by.)



Dull stuff that you may find useful:

Glossary of terms used on salary pages:

Player option: Player has the option to extend the contract to already dictated terms.

Team option: Team has the option to extend the contract to already dictated terms.

Early termination option: Same principle as player option, but with some subtle differences that aren't particularly important, and definitely aren't interesting.

Qualifying offer: The amount of money the team has to extend as a contract offer to a player to make them a restricted free agent. Player can choose to accept the offer, or do all manner of other things. All players with three years or less experience that are becoming free agents are eligible, with the exception of players who were on a rookie scale contract who didn't make it the full four years due to having one or both of their team option years declined.

Unguaranteed: Contracts that aren't fully guaranteed. Obviously. Details of how much or how little is guaranteed is usually to be found on the 'Additional Info' pop-ups. If they're not, that's because I don't know them.

Not on roster: Player is still on the team's salary figure, but not on the roster. For example, people who were on the roster but who were cut for being crap, or players who took buyouts. Note: this is only for salaries which the team has on it's salary figure - that is, players who retired due to injury and whom had their salaries removed from the team salary figure are NOT listed. If that makes no sense, then just ignore it, because it's dull anyway.

Mauve: A sort of purple colour.



Qualifying offers NOT included in team salary totals at any point.



2009/10 max salary cap figure: $57,700,000
2009/10 min salary cap figure: $43,275,000
2009/10 luxury tax threshold: $69,920,000

2009/10 Mid Level Exception figure: $5,854,000
2009/10 Bi-Annual Exception figure: $1,990,000

2009/10 maximum player salary, 0-6 years service: $13,520,500
2009/10 maximum player salary, 7-9 years service: $16,224,600
2009/10 maximum player salary, 10+ years service: $18,928,700
  Linkage:


  Salary Index
  Salary Guide
  Salary Cap Exceptions
  Trade Exceptions
  Free Agent Cap Holds
  Draft Pick Cap Holds
  Expiring Contracts



Total 2009/10 team salaries:

1 $91,346,449
2 $87,755,575
3 $84,909,415
4 $84,830,421
5 $84,628,044
6 $82,085,267
7 $78,550,329
8 $75,320,657
9 $75,009,048
10 $72,881,306
11 $72,298,282
12 $72,026,817
13 $69,566,598
14 $69,277,832
15 $69,068,873
16 $68,565,860
17 $67,930,017
18 $67,814,018
19 $66,690,866
20 $66,614,202
21 $65,059,897
22 $63,012,026
24 $62,770,303
23 $62,276,899
25 $60,086,656
26 $59,159,990
27 $58,597,137
28 $58,207,080
29 $57,136,895
30 $55,994,781


Total committed salaries:

1 $396,986,659
2 $315,845,686
3 $285,721,983
4 $245,546,000
5 $235,058,110
6 $237,351,110
7 $233,036,086
8 $230,463,960
9 $223,200,592
10 $216,405,469
11 $215,427,810
12 $214,971,129
13 $204,917,269
14 $200,821,441
15 $197,879,393
16 $189,584,184
17 $189,315,861
18 $181,806,974
19 $181,723,206
20 $179,951,169
21 $168,882,922
22 $164,445,096
23 $164,209,503
24 $150,327,495
25 $149,814,384
26 $136,241,369
27 $127,891,713
28 $119,957,413
29 $115,614,816
30 $111,585,140


Updated as of June 19th 2010.







 


2008/09 salaries can be found by sneakily adding "/2009" to the URL. Figure out where exactly for yourselves.


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