Where Are They Now? Part 24

Darrick Martin was waived by Toronto last month, and subsequently got a new gig with them as a "basketball development consultant". Whatever that is.

Torrell Martin is playing for Slask in Poland, a team that you've heard of by now if you've read all of these entries. Also playing for Slask are Five Trillion Deng Gai's, Dawan Robinson and The Ho-Man. Martin averages exactly 11 points and almost exactly 6 rebounds a game.

Jamal Mashburn, as well you know, is firmly done. He now works for ESPN, doing some studio work and articles and stuff. Basically he's got my job. Bastard.

Chester CHET! Mason is playing for Zlatorog Lasko in Slovenia, and if you hadn't heard of them before then you're a disgrace. Mason averages 9.7 points, 4.9 rebounds and 4.1 assists, with an efficiency rating of 11. I would give efficiency ratings for all players listed here, but I have windows that need looking out of.

Tony Massenburg stunned the world this October when he signed with the Washignton Wizards for training camp. You'd have thought that Massenburg had had the perfect retirement, since leaving the Spurs with a championship ring two seasons earlier. But, no, apparently Tony couldn't keep away. The Wizards didn't keep him, but Massenburg still carried on, signing in Puerto Rico for a team named Captains of Arecibo as a replacement for Marcus Fizer. Massenburg is no longer there, but that's not the point. The point is, why is Tony Massenburg still trying to get back into the NBA? Is he flat broke? Is he too proud to quit? Is he inspired by Kevin Willis? Is he trying to get single ownership of the "most teams played for" crown, a record he currently co-owns with Chucky Brown (12)? If it's the latter, then he may as well not bother, because Bobby Jones will own that record by this time next year. But still, good luck to him.

Bryant Matthews, a dirty dirty sex pest, is out of prison. He went to play for a team called "Ponce" in Puerto Rico, where he didn't make a field goal in two games. If you want to know why Bryant Matthews is a dirty sex pest worthy of bilious hate, here's a brief synopsis of the story: in a hotel in Australia, Matthews's friend was having sex with his girlfriend, when Matthews walked in, sat on the bed, and stuck his hand in her snatch. His defense was that he "thought it was cool with her". I have so many questions as to why he would think or do this. Nevertheless, it evidently wasn't 'cool' with her. She complained, Bryant got terminated fromh is contract, and eventually criminal charges led to a maximum 18 month jail term, where he served 9. Boooooo! What a fucktard.

Loukas Mavrokefalidis is playing for Olympiakos in Greece, alongside everyone mentioned in the Aryvdas Macijauskas entry. Mavro averages an astonishing 3 points and 1.5 rebounds, ish.

Walter McCarty has retired and is an assistant coach for the University of Louisville.

Amal McCaskill-less was an All-Star in the CBA this year, before he left the Albany Patroons and signed in the powerhouse United Arab Emirates league, for a team called An Nasr. The teams in the UAE league are named Al Shabab, Al Wasl, An Nasr, Al Ahli, Sharjah, Al Wahda and Ash Shaab, all of which sound like believable NYC taxi drivers names. Except for Sharjah. That's a race horse.

The Real Jelani McCoy has been signed and waived a lot by Denver this year, but is now out of the NBA and back in the D-League playing for the L.A. D-Fenders. McCoy averages 11.2 points, 7.8 rebounds and 2.1 blocks per game for them, along with 69% shooting from the field and 51% shooting from the free throw line. No, those are not the wrong way around.

Chris McCray is playing for Oostende in Belgium, alongside the timelessly named Titus Ivory. McCray averages a rather shitty 7.2 points per game.