Where Are They Now? Part 20
Keeping up with the Jones's.
Arthur Johnson is playing for Pepsi Caserta in Italy's second divison, alongside Guillermo Diaz and perennial also-ran Randolph Childress. Johnson averages 13.9 points and 6.5 rebounds a game.
Trey Johnson is averaging 12.3 points, 3.5 rebounds and 4.1 assists in only 27 minutes a game for the Bakersfield Jam of the D-League.
Bobby Jones has tied an NBA record this season, after playing for 5 different NBA teams - Denver, Memphis, San Antonio, Miami and Houston. Jones was also on the Sixers roster before the season, but he was traded as a part of the Reggie Evans/Steven Hunter deal that nobody was interested in. He has just today returned to the Denver Nuggets, obviously wanting to settle down now.
Dahntay Jones played well for the Kings earlier this season, before being waived to accomodate the players acquired from Atlanta as a part of the Mike Bibby trade. One of those players - Tyronn Lue - was subsequently waived, but still the Kings didn't bring Dahntay back, nor Justin Williams, the other guy waived concurrent to the trade. As a result, Jones is stuck with plying his trade down in the D-League, where he shits on the league wth a 24.4 points per game average.
Mark Jones - a former Magic guard, so obscure in his formerness that only the truly hardcore will remember him - has not played professionally for two years, and I have absolutely nothing further to say about him. That's how obscure he is. It'd be qutie the mysterious and evocative act if it wasn't so irrelevant to everyone and everything.
Alvin Jones, who this summer became the ultimate random "oh shit yeah, I remember him!" signing of any training camp ever when he signed with Denver for three whole days, is playing for a Turkish team that not even people in Turkey have heard of - Mutlu Aku Selcuk Universitesi Konya. It is here that Jones puts up the other-worldly numbers of 4 total BL's and no ASS. Make your own assumptions as to what those abbreviations form his team's website represent. Jones is also, I shit ye not, a Luxembourgian passport holder, and this is the kind of information that I NEED to bring the world. (Question: which former Net is now a member of the Qatarian national team? We'll find out, after these messages. And about 30 more blog posts.)
Jumaine Jones is averaging 18.2 points and 8.6 rebounds for Napoli in Italy, alongside another former Net, Jamel Thomas. Speaking of Jamel Thomas, Jamel Thomas is Stephon Marbury's cousin. And Jamel Thomas is writing a book. And Jamel Thomas isn't nice about Marbury on this book, or so he implies in a Youtube video that he made. In this video, Jamel Thomas wears sunglasses indoors, complimented by a pink tank top, ranting somewhat incoherently (the room has ropey acoustics) about how angry he is about Marbury-related things, doing so with a loosely enforced rhyme scheme in place. In the unlikely event that you haven't seen this video, given that every NBA blog in the world seems to have carried it recently, here it is:
I'm buying that, despite my almost-total lack of interest in the subject matter. You've sold me, Jamel Thomas. By the way, Jamal has two A's in it.
Jared Jordan is playing for Lietuvos in Lithuania, alongside (or rather, behind) the mighty Hollis Price. Jordan averages a mere 6.1 points and 4.0 assists for the team. Nevertheless, I remain steadfast in my opinion that this player that I have never seen play is destined for good things, because people who I trust rather well keep telling me this. And frankly, that's all that I need. It's the fundamental principle that this website was based on. Maybe I shouldn't have just said that.
Federico Kammerichs averages only 7.1 points and 5.9 rebounds for Murci in Spain. The old unwritten rule which states that dual German/Argentinian nationality players with massive beards drafted in the second round of the NBA draft never go on to international basketball superstardom, claims another victim. Maybe one day, we'll break this unholy cycle of woe.
Sergei Karaulov - one of those tall young European second round draft choices that the Spurs make, that you've never heard of, yet you are convinced that they could one day start on a championship winning Spurs team purely because te Spurs drafted them - will never start on a Spurs championship team. Because he's crap. Karaulov, 26 tomorrow, averages only 3.2 points and 2.1 rebounds for Lokomotiv Rostov in the Russian Superleague. Thus, it's official - the Spurs cocked one up. And when we get to Viktor Sanikidze, you'll learn how they cocked two up.
Mario Kasun had his restricted free agency renounced by Orlando when they renounced everybody except Fran Vazquez to open up the room to sign Rashard Lewis to as much as they physically could, for no fucking reason whatsoever. As a result, Kasun is now fully detatched from the NBA, and now we have something else to blame Rashard Lewis for. (Let's overlook for a minute the fact that Kasun doesn't want to play in the NBA.) Kasun, now 28, averages 7.7 points and 3.3 rebounds per game for Barcelona, and if I could read Spanish I'd be able to tell you if he has stopped his prolific fouling or not. But I'd wager not. (Vazquez, coincidentally, is his teammate.)
Viktor Khryapa was bought out by the Bulls just before the trade deadline so that he could return to the Motherland to resurrect his career. It hasn't really worked out yet, as Khryapa averages only 10.8 points and 6.4 rebounds for CSKA Moscow, which isn't terrific. Khryapa's team mate in Moscow is Trajan Langdon, who tears shit up with an 11.8ppg scoring average, which is highly terrific. I may have an agenda here, but don't tell anyone.
Arthur Johnson is playing for Pepsi Caserta in Italy's second divison, alongside Guillermo Diaz and perennial also-ran Randolph Childress. Johnson averages 13.9 points and 6.5 rebounds a game. Trey Johnson is averaging 12.3 points, 3.5 rebounds and 4.1 assists in only 27 minutes a game for the Bakersfield Jam of the D-League. Bobby Jones has tied an NBA record this season, after playing for 5 different NBA teams - Denver, Memphis, San Antonio, Miami and Houston. Jones was also on the Sixers roster before the season, but he was traded as a part of the Reggie Evans/Steven Hunter deal that nobody was interested in. He has just today returned to the Denver Nuggets, obviously wanting to settle down now. Dahntay Jones played well for the Kings earlier this season, before being waived to accomodate the players acquired from Atlanta as a part of the Mike Bibby trade. One of those players - Tyronn Lue - was subsequently waived, but still the Kings didn't bring Dahntay back, nor Justin Williams, the other guy waived concurrent to the trade. As a result, Jones is stuck with plying his trade down in the D-League, where he shits on the league wth a 24.4 points per game average. Mark Jones - a former Magic guard, so obscure in his formerness that only the truly hardcore will remember him - has not played professionally for two years, and I have absolutely nothing further to say about him. That's how obscure he is. It'd be qutie the mysterious and evocative act if it wasn't so irrelevant to everyone and everything. Alvin Jones, who this summer became the ultimate random "oh shit yeah, I remember him!" signing of any training camp ever when he signed with Denver for three whole days, is playing for a Turkish team that not even people in Turkey have heard of - Mutlu Aku Selcuk Universitesi Konya. It is here that Jones puts up the other-worldly numbers of 4 total BL's and no ASS. Make your own assumptions as to what those abbreviations form his team's website represent. Jones is also, I shit ye not, a Luxembourgian passport holder, and this is the kind of information that I NEED to bring the world. (Question: which former Net is now a member of the Qatarian national team? We'll find out, after these messages. And about 30 more blog posts.) Jumaine Jones is averaging 18.2 points and 8.6 rebounds for Napoli in Italy, alongside another former Net, Jamel Thomas. Speaking of Jamel Thomas, Jamel Thomas is Stephon Marbury's cousin. And Jamel Thomas is writing a book. And Jamel Thomas isn't nice about Marbury on this book, or so he implies in a Youtube video that he made. In this video, Jamel Thomas wears sunglasses indoors, complimented by a pink tank top, ranting somewhat incoherently (the room has ropey acoustics) about how angry he is about Marbury-related things, doing so with a loosely enforced rhyme scheme in place. In the unlikely event that you haven't seen this video, given that every NBA blog in the world seems to have carried it recently, here it is:I'm buying that, despite my almost-total lack of interest in the subject matter. You've sold me, Jamel Thomas. By the way, Jamal has two A's in it.
Jared Jordan is playing for Lietuvos in Lithuania, alongside (or rather, behind) the mighty Hollis Price. Jordan averages a mere 6.1 points and 4.0 assists for the team. Nevertheless, I remain steadfast in my opinion that this player that I have never seen play is destined for good things, because people who I trust rather well keep telling me this. And frankly, that's all that I need. It's the fundamental principle that this website was based on. Maybe I shouldn't have just said that. Federico Kammerichs averages only 7.1 points and 5.9 rebounds for Murci in Spain. The old unwritten rule which states that dual German/Argentinian nationality players with massive beards drafted in the second round of the NBA draft never go on to international basketball superstardom, claims another victim. Maybe one day, we'll break this unholy cycle of woe. Sergei Karaulov - one of those tall young European second round draft choices that the Spurs make, that you've never heard of, yet you are convinced that they could one day start on a championship winning Spurs team purely because te Spurs drafted them - will never start on a Spurs championship team. Because he's crap. Karaulov, 26 tomorrow, averages only 3.2 points and 2.1 rebounds for Lokomotiv Rostov in the Russian Superleague. Thus, it's official - the Spurs cocked one up. And when we get to Viktor Sanikidze, you'll learn how they cocked two up. Mario Kasun had his restricted free agency renounced by Orlando when they renounced everybody except Fran Vazquez to open up the room to sign Rashard Lewis to as much as they physically could, for no fucking reason whatsoever. As a result, Kasun is now fully detatched from the NBA, and now we have something else to blame Rashard Lewis for. (Let's overlook for a minute the fact that Kasun doesn't want to play in the NBA.) Kasun, now 28, averages 7.7 points and 3.3 rebounds per game for Barcelona, and if I could read Spanish I'd be able to tell you if he has stopped his prolific fouling or not. But I'd wager not. (Vazquez, coincidentally, is his teammate.) Viktor Khryapa was bought out by the Bulls just before the trade deadline so that he could return to the Motherland to resurrect his career. It hasn't really worked out yet, as Khryapa averages only 10.8 points and 6.4 rebounds for CSKA Moscow, which isn't terrific. Khryapa's team mate in Moscow is Trajan Langdon, who tears shit up with an 11.8ppg scoring average, which is highly terrific. I may have an agenda here, but don't tell anyone.Labels: Alvin Jones, Arthur Johnson, Bobby Jones, Dahntay Jones, Federico Kammerichs, Jared Jordan, Jumaine Jones, Mario Kasun, Mark Jones, Sergei Karaulov, Trey Johnson, Viktor Khryapa, Where Are They Now
posted by Sham at
12:22 AM
4 Comments:
Ah, Mark Jones and Mario Kasun.
I do remember Jones a bit. I think he was a 10-day contract guy from that miserable 03-04 season. Everyone loved him because he went to UCF, a college relatively close to Orlando, and he was the first player from UCF to make the NBA.
He blew garbage chunks.
Kasun, on the other hand, posterized Kevin Garnett, and proceeded to foul out 2 minutes later after four minutes of playing time. Beast.
He also had a myspace, which had photos of him in a pool with porn star looking girls.
It was comical.
It has now come to my attention that the Kasun myspace is now private.
Tragic.
For all the flak it gets, myspace has had it perks. That's where I managed to get pictures of a drunken Pat Garrity flipping off the camera.
Bill Simmons once wrote that he saw Mary Carey in the stands at a Magic game, screaming her head off every time Kasun touched the ball.
I swear I remember reading that.
Yeah, in some porno mag there was an interview with Mary Carey and she said she was dating/banging a player on the Magic. Wouldn't name names. But it became pretty clear it was Kasun, considering she wore a Kasun customized jersey, making her the only person on Earth with a customized Kasun jersey.
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