Sunday, December 06, 2009

So This Actually Happened

At the end of the third quarter of a game that was a blowout from the fifth minute onwards, Raptors point guard Jarrett Jack holds the ball at the top of the key. Noticing his shoelace is undone, he tucks the ball under his arm while the clock continues to tick, and ties it back up.

Not a single Bulls player tries to knock it away.

That basically summed up the whole game. The Bulls played worse than any team has ever played in any game at any standard in any season of any decade in any league in any country of any sport ever. They were listless, talentless and overmatched, with the playbook of a Corleggy cheese and all the energy of a bag of spanners. They fought like a Frenchman on their way to losing 110-79, in front of a sold out crowd of men in suits who refused to boo as if they cared. It's the only time I've ever turned off a game because I couldn't stand to watch it. Bad, bad, bad times.

If you happen to own or run an NBA team and are looking to hire someone to work 80 hour weeks as a professional nerd, hire me. Because then I can stop supporting the Bulls.


  1. I think it's great that not only did yahoo sports quote you, but it's almost half of what they have written there. Too bad they misquoted you, "It's the only time I've ever turned a game because I couldn't stand to watch it," as they left out the "off" in "turned off a game.",206950

    I turned the game off before that point, and I usually enjoy watching "scrub" minutes to see other players get a chance, like James Johnson potentially. But there was no positive development going on for the Bulls, even the Raptors 2nd unit was increasing the lead against the Bulls started. Unless there is drastic improvement by the next decent sized break in the schedule, Bernie will be the one standing on the sidelines at the end of that break.

  2. To be honest, part of the reason why I turned it off was because the feed was acting up. But part of the reason why the feed was acting up was because of the simultaneous streaming of Youtube videos of drunken Israeli dancing. And after given myself a choice between the Bulls game and the drunken Israeli dancing, the drunken Israeli dancing won.

  3. They didn't misquote me; that's what it used to say. I went back and mended the typo.

  4. Congrats on Yahoo picking that up that should bring some more traffic. That is also pretty impressive you should be proud of yourself :)


About The Author

My Photo

"The brain behind ShamSports could have been featured in a number of these Twitter lists, but because his website often spends our entire working day lodged in one of our browser tabs we decided to take the boring route and place Mark amongst the professors. Deeks might be the funniest man you've never met, he does exhaustive work with the NBA's salary minutiae and transaction follow-ups, and he's a stone-cold must-follow. Stone-cold fox, too, ladies. Or, some gentlemen."